I have been having constant cramping since last night. I am so uncomfortable! I can't help but have flashbacks to our IVF debacle this summer. I ovulated on my own a few hours before I was supposed to trigger. It was a disaster!
Well...
I am feeling the same way today. I am crampy and full feeling. My mind is racing and all I see is another disaster. I plan on peeing on ovulation sticks every time I pee! I did get the go ahead to trigger tomorrow night! This means I only have to wait until tomorrow night before my mind will relax a bit. I keep telling my body "Please don't ovulate yet. Please dont ovulate yet." Hopefully, she is getting the hint.
The good news is that I have 3 follicles from 16mm-19mm. I take another Gonal F shot tonight (74iu) and then Ovidril tomorrow night. So our IUI is scheduled for Monday morning. It works out great because my students are out of school that day and Jeremy is off work for Veteran's Day. But I still can't help but be a nervous wreck. I know it must be all in my head...I am just panicked that my worst nightmare will happen...AGAIN!
Last night, Jeremy prayed that I would hand this over to God. I really need to. It is completely out of my hands. If my body wants to be stupid and stubborn, worrying about it isn't going to help any. I am going to try to relax the next 28 hours and stay as positive as I can. Wish me luck on this fete!
On another note, the NaBloPoMo prompt today is such a no-brainer! "If you could change one thing about your life right now, what would it be?"
Well, duh! I want a freaking baby! I would prefer to have a baby the way most of the population does though. I don't enjoy spending money, getting prodded with needles and wands, and the stress of infertility. I want the ease of just saying, "Hey, let's try to have a baby," and BOOM! instant pregnancy. God obviously has other plans for us, and that is fine. However, it still sucks!
-Lisa-
UPDATE @5:50: I hate my body! Why can't I catch a break?! Predictor kit tonight says ":)". Normally a smiley face means GREAT...instead it means DISASTER. I can't believe this has happened again. I have not ovulated in two months and now that we spend money on a cycle...she decides to work at the wrong time! I am so frustrated, defeated, and sad.
Dr. Milroy is the doc on call. She recommends we do the "baby dance" tonight and go in for IUI on Sunday morning instead of Monday. She wants to pretend that I took the trigger tonight. I have my doubts of this working especially considering we don't know the exact time I started the LH surge. I know it is in God's hands but it is getting harder and harder to deal with all of this.
Why is my body so screwed?!!!!! Ugh!!
Lady, I know it is SOOOO so much easier said than done, but do your best to relaaaaax. (I know - I. Am. The. Worst.)
ReplyDeleteThat being said I'm going to think super storky vibes in the direction of your eggs to hold off until they get direct orders from the General.
Awww Lisa! I hate this for you. I am so sorry hun and want to give you a big hug. But, it is not over. Sending so many prayers your way!!!! Hugs!!!! Many Many vibes to the swimmers and egg in this race. May they meet at the perfect moment and create the cutest baby ever!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat stinks, it has happened to me....and she is now three years old. It can happen!
ReplyDeleteOh, hun, I am so sorry that mother nature is playing silly buggers. I hope that the BDing and IUI can catch those naughty early eggies.
ReplyDelete