Dealing with Stress

Everyone has to deal with an amount of stress at one point or another...(or all points in varying levels). Some people deal by crying (sometimes me), throwing fits (sometimes me), or lashing out at loved ones (sometimes me). I am guilty of all of these ineffective stress relieving tactics.

However, I, for the majority, deal with stress internally. On the outside, I smile, nod and pretend that life is my oyster. Internally, I am freaking the F out! I have a hard time saying "No" when asked. I have the tendency to bite off more than I can chew. And I definitely invent the majority of the stress in my life.

This week has been A WEEK. Whew! I first of all promised to you, the blog world, that I would write to you more often. Much to my chagrin, my weekly Friday night alarm alerted me to WRITE. So, I am now hoping this self-inflicted stress turns into therapy. Bear with me...ya'll are my free therapy.


I begin my adjunct courses on Monday. Like three days from now. They are all online through the learning interface, Blackboard. For some flipping reason, I have not been granted access to set up said courses until today. TODAY! I have spent hours on the phone with Human Resources, my department, the university's technology center...no one can figure out what the hell was going on. It was so freaking frustrating!


Now, I get to spend my ENTIRE weekend (except for right now) building two courses I have never taught before. Luckily, I can build as we progress but the majority of the course needs to be done before I can release the site to the students. Oy!


Let's add in the fact that we started back to regular school (at the middle school) this week. And let me tell you...it hasn't been a pleasant start. I didn't realize how much I did NOT miss them until today. Again, oy!


[Insert loud, obnoxious sigh that I would roll my eyes at if it came from my husband.]


Now, let me paint back on my smile, perfect the nod and go back to pretending that life is grand. Deep down I know that my life is pretty flipping fantastic. But the stress I put on myself is making it difficult.

-Lisa-

I've Become a Blog Spectator

I am not sure how this happened, but I know why.


I was an avid blog postER and now I am just a blog readER.


I hate that. But I am reading (although I do "binge reads" on two weeks of blogs). I miss actually writing and am hoping to get caught up on my spring break. I have posts in my head but no time to write. Hence, why this explanation post is short and succinct.


My life is a great big ball of stress, life, work, babies, stress, work, not babies-toddlers, work, stress, and oh did I mention work??


So...I work as a middle school teacher by day. I am teaching not one, but two, college courses this semester. Oh, and the college I am teaching at had me take a course this semester that is A LOT of work! Luckily, I just turned in my mediocre final project. Like, 3 minutes ago...


So, when I come home from work at the middle school, I play with babies, cook dinner, have chit chat with the husband. Put babies to bed, and then work on the college course or grade the college work. Oh and grade the 110 middle school essays and work that piles up.


Then, I sleep. A little bit. But sleep.


So, no time to write. Or if I have time to write, my energy is zilch and I wind up reading your posts.


Before I leave you until sometime in March...here are the people that you want to see. The loves of my life that keep me working and going. It is all for them!

-Lisa-

Mama Got a Brand New Job!

I just realized that I have not made a single post this month. This is a stressful, busy time of the year for teachers. It is the last weeks of school so kids are crazy, teachers are frazzled, papers needing graded are piled high, state testing is grueling, and so on. I signed on to teach a couple weeks of summer school which is always "fun" (not really, but good money).

For a couple of years, I have started to lose the passion for teaching. I was losing sight of why I loved teaching. I was becoming more and more burnt out. The babies are what finally pushed me to quit my job a couple months ago. I needed to find something I loved if I was going to spend time away from them...or the plan was to spend more time at home.

My plans are not in action here. HIS are! (Why haven't I learned from before??)

A couple months ago, a great district called me to set up a screening interview. I was surprised because I hadn't applied but they got my resume at an online database. I went. Loved the principal that interviewed me. She called me the next day for a second interview. I toured the building, met staff, and loved the idea of teaching again.

Two weeks later (I got really impatient!), I GOT THE JOB! I just know this will re-energize my love for teaching again. I am so excited for the new challenges, new outlook and other perks. Like the new school is only 5 miles from home. Right now, I drive 27 one way. So...more time with babies. It also doesn't hurt that I will be getting a considerable raise in salary. Like...a lot!

It is bittersweet though. I have spent my entire teaching career at South Middle. Those people are my family. They are why I stuck around and they made me sane. I will miss them more than they know. The last day of school is approaching which makes me excited...but I also am dreading those goodbyes.

Now... some babies to hold you over until Sunday...the babies will be 10 months old!

Max takes the phone and talks. We caught him saying "Hello". Harper waves. More adorable pics and videos later.

-Lisa-

8 Months & New Life Chapters

Another month. They are a measly 4 months away from being ONE! I also have to admit that I have been searching Pinterest for ideas for their first birthday party. Our house is too small to have everyone here and the twins won't really be ready for the full out bouncy house birthday yet. So we are thinking at having it at nearby park. That way there are activities and it is large enough for everyone. Although I really don't want them to grow up so fast...I am excited about their very first birthday!

Max is a crazy person. Seriously. He is into everything that he shouldn't and will magically be across the room within seconds of looking away. He is obsessed with the foam that we put around the edges of our coffee table. He wants it off the table and in his mouth. We tell him no. He shakes his head no to us and giggles. How do you get mad at that? He is too funny. He loves to stand at the activity table and fight Harper for the best buttons to push. He babbles nonsense a lot. Lots of "Dada" "Mama" "RaRa" "Nana" and squeals.

He has been a little under the weather lately. Horrible diaper rash from cutting TOP teeth. (He has some large bumps on his top front gums.) He hasn't been sleeping well and is just overall not his happy self. Hopefully he will be over this fussy stage soon. It has only been a few days but I want my sweet, smiley boy back.

He loves food! His favorites are still fruit. Most recently he loves the mixed fruits. He also is getting pretty good at feeding himself. He likes the little puffs and has just learned how to make hand to mouth connection. Granted, our dog, Bella, still gets her fair share from him, but he is doing well. He wears 6-9 month clothing for the most part. The 9 month clothes are a little big and he still fits into most of his 6 month clothing. He wears size 3 diapers. I don't know exact weight but by just holding him and weighing on our scales...he is around 17.5 pounds.

Harper is the happiest baby. She is so smiley, snugly, and loving. She gives big open mouth kisses and melts my heart with her facial expressions. She is the sweetest girl. She is also a girl on the go but hasn't quite mastered crawling all of the way. She sometimes gets so excited that she is moving that she head butts the ground which isn't her favorite feeling. She can still get where she wants to go and has also developed an obsession with the foam on the coffee table. (Been watching Max too much!) She loves to play. She gets so excited that she flaps her arms and squeals when you do about anything. So cute! She also talks quite a bit and I swore the other day she said something that resembled "Max".

She has had a perpetual cough for a few weeks. Never a fever. She even seems to feel fine. It is slowly getting better which is good. I am just ready for winter to go away so they can stay healthy longer. She has her one and half (I say half because it is just barely peaking through) tooth on the bottom.

She is an eater. She can eat Max under the table highchair. She is more of a veggie and dinner fan. She loved the chicken and noodle puree and also a big fan of squash. But I don't think we have found a food she doesn't like yet. She is not as sure about feeding herself. It is like she doesn't want to get her hands dirty. She will pick up a puff and look at it in disgust before throwing it on the ground for Bella. However, she likes the puffs but wants me to feed it to her. Silly! She wears 6-9 month and 9 month clothing. She can sometimes fit into 6 month clothing but for the most part they are too small now. She wears size 3 diapers. Again, not a complete accurate weight on our scales but she is close to 18.5 pounds.

Helping "Grandma" Anne celebrate her 90th!

We kinda like bathing together!

"Harps"

Miss Harper is a happy girl!

Just hanging out

Max getting into everything!

He loves getting into the diaper stash

Unhappy?

What? It wasn't me!

8 month pictures

Outtakes tell it all

Babygate was installed!

Playing together

On a run with Mom

They both amaze me everyday. I just never knew this kind of love existed.

But I am tired. I think this stage is more difficult than the newborn stage. I don't have nearly the amount of time to keep up with housework and work-work. They definitely run us ragged but wouldn't have it any other way!

You would think that having two humans to take care of and support would prevent us from making huge life changes. Nope! This is Jeremy's last week at his job of nearly 11 years. He is going to be a sales manager for a local sock company. Yep, socks! He is going to help grow the business and hopefully make a lot more money. He has always carried the insurance for the babies so now we are figuring that out. The sock company is fairly new and he will be their ONLY paid employee.

On top of that uncertainty...I turned in my resignation to my school that I have taught at for 8 years! Am I crazy? Possibly. I will still need to work but am looking for a job still using my education degrees but in a capacity that doesn't involve the stresses and grading of a regular teacher. I am hoping to find something and the pressure is on now.

So onto new life challenges. It never stops. Jeremy is really excited and to be honest...just turning in my resignation felt good.

-Lisa-

PEGPS & Ornaments

So I am a crazy person since it is the end of semester. There is a blog over at Love, Teach that had a recent article about how you should not date a teacher. Part of what she said was this:

You thought PMS was bad? Try PEGPS.

PEGPS stands for Pre End-of-Grading-Period Syndrome, the period of time before grades are due for report cards. Like PMS, PEGPS is characterized by extreme irritability, poor nutritional choices, and zombie-like fatigue. However, unlike PMS, PEGPS lasts for 2-3 WEEKS and happens four to six times per YEAR. 

And when PEGPS overlaps with PMS, you'd better get the hell out of Dodge, my friend.

I am this victim of PEGPS right now. Especially the irritability! I swear...I was angry teacher today. I am stressed on getting our projects done and me getting grading completed. Plus, there are finals to create and planning for our next units. 

I teach 4 different courses, and I am swamped. English I, 8th grade regular English, 7th grade regular English, and 7th grade enriched English. So....essays, more essays, and more essays. Yikes!

But my day was brightened when I came home. I received my adorable ornament as part of Teresa's ornament exchange at Where the Bleep is our Stork. My exchange partner is Stephanie. We just "met" and she is adorbs. Yep, I said adorbs. She is in the trenches of infertility and I just hope and pray that her miracle baby(ies) are on their way. 

I nearly cried when I saw the ornament. Partly, due to my insane mood swings PEGPS (ha!) and mostly due to the specialness of our ornament. It is personalized for our miracle babes. I LOVE IT, Stephanie. It is perfect in every way. Thank you!

-Lisa-

Working Mom Blues

I never thought I would be THAT woman that would be a stay at home mom. I always have loved working and loved teaching. I still love being a teacher (most days!) and love the people I work with. BUT...I would absolutely love to stay with my beautiful babies.

I am glad I started back to work a couple weeks before they started daycare. I had time to adjust to being away from them. I knew they were in good, loving hands when they were their daddy.

Tuesday, our world and their world changed. They are attending a Christian based school three whole blocks from our house. The women there are amazing and so caring. Although that makes it easier, it is still so hard to accept the fact that they are essentially being raised by other people.

Tuesday, Jeremy got them dressed and ready for their first day of "school". As he set them down in the infant room. He handed over the last of the supplies we needed to bring. He kissed them and started to prepare to leave. Harper gave him the frowniest frown and let one tear drip down her cheek. This act, of course, left Jeremy feeling awful. Although, he swears he didn't cry-cry...he did leave in a hurry. Luckily, I will hardly ever be the one dropping them off in the morning.

I get the pleasure of picking them up and seeing their sweet faces. I swear they look at me like they are SO happy to see me. They seem to love daycare and they have them on a pretty strict schedule. We thought we did but they take scheduling to a whole other level.

I can't get over that they are "teaching" 3 month old babies. They have done all kinds of activities this week. Here are their day sheets we get each day:

Colors in Spanish! What?! We are going to have genius babies!

They are still sleeping through the night and going down for bed with no issues. They are just awesome babies!

More twin spam for you. Have a great weekend!

-Lisa-

Be Prepared!

I have been absent from the blog world for a couple of weeks. I haven't been reading, commenting, or writing. So bloggy friends...if you notice a bombardment of comments waiting approval or my posts filling your newsfeed...it's me! I am catching up today. I am hoping the darlings sleep a little bit longer so I can feel accomplished.

I really don't know where the time goes. It seems like days fly by and I literally get nothing accomplished besides baby snuggles, feedings, laundry, bottle washing, and occasionally some light cleaning. Before I know it, it is 6pm and Jeremy is home from work. I am enjoying this time immensely though.

I go back to work October 1. I have less than 5 weeks now and it terrifies me. I just LOVE this time with my babies. I think of work everyday but am learning not to stress over it. I am a teacher and my substitute QUIT just two days in. I guess my 7th & 8th graders were a little much. Wonderful people at my school have taken over to make sure the curriculum and students are in one piece when I return. They have made my life here at home enjoyable. I was thinking that I needed to go back sooner to salvage everything. Thank goodness I get to be a stay at home Mommy for a little longer!

I have lots of posts in mind. So be prepared...they are coming!

-Lisa-