Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Be a voice. Be heard.

Happy National Infertility Awareness Week!

Infertility is always a part of each victim's life.

It doesn't matter if you seem to be "on the other side" of the disease with the answered prayer baby in your arms or in your belly. It doesn't matter if you are just starting to seek out medical help. It doesn't matter if you are on your second IVF failure. It doesn't matter if you have gone through countless procedures, surgeries, miscarriages and heartbreak.

We ALL know what it feels like to want something so badly that you would do nearly anything to get it.

We put our bodies through hell for the chance of starting or completing a family. We get our hearts filled with hope at the beginning of a cycle or the beginning of the adoption process...to have them broken into a million pieces when things go awry. Our hearts seem to magically heal in time for the next cycle...and the next...and the next. We go through this over and over again holding onto a faith and love with such persistence. We obsess over each twinge, spot of blood, cramp, and cycle day. We test...then test, and then test again. Our minds constantly guessing on what it all means and if we need to call the RE.

We carry a heavy burden.

We bear other's advice. We bear the weight of our partner's childlessness. We beat ourselves up and blame ourselves for all the failures. It is our bodies. It is our fault.

We ache for the child so badly that when we are lucky to see a positive pregnancy test...we are afraid to celebrate. After all, we know that at any given moment, our dreams could come crashing down.

We are infertile.

It is the type of disease that stays with its victims forever. Once an infertile, always an infertile. Even after it seems like we have "beat" infertility...it becomes a state of mind. We will never be the same. It has altered our hearts. It has essentially robbed us from an experience that many get for free without heartache.

If you don't know about infertility, please take the time to educate yourself. Most likely a couple you know is suffering. Some in silence. We need you.
For more information, visit www.resolve.org 


Friday, April 18, 2014

Doctor Appointment(s)

In celebration of Good Friday...we all had doctor's appointments.

The babies had their nine month appointment. No shots! Best appointment ever! We got to see Dr. Cattaneo and love him! On a side note: he had on Sock 101 socks. Jeremy's new job is the sales manager for Sock 101. So funny. So, Jeremy is trying to sell him more socks now! Ha!

Max weighed 17lb 15 oz and it put him in the 21%. He has kind of leveled off which apparently is normal since he is pulling up, crawling, and cruising...and burning calories. His height is what I was excited about! He was in the 7% at 7 months. He is now 27.5 inches. This has him in 18%. Still not raising a basketball star, but I was glad that he wasn't too shrimpy. His head circumference was 18 inches which was 68%. He is a growing boy. We are going to have watch his gagging reflex closely in the next month when we check with the doctor again. Max has struggled with the more solid, chunkier foods. He gags at Stage 3 foods that have chunks. Also he sometimes chokes on puffs, veggies, MumMums, etc. Hopefully he does better in the next month because otherwise he will have to see a OP and a possible swallow test.

Harper weighed 19lb 4oz and she is in the 67%. Our chunky girl! Her heights was 27.25 inches, just a tad shy of Max, which was 11%. She fell off the curve a bit but he is not concerned here. Her head circumference was 17.75 inches, which was 83%. We were concerned about Harper's circulation. When she stands, her feet turn red and sometimes bluish. Of course, this didn't happen at the office today. But he checked her circulation and feels comfortable saying she is perfectly fine. Her legs are super plump (and adorable) so that could be reason why...nothing to worry about though.

They are just growing like crazy. I can't believe we set up their one year appointment today. The best 9 months of my life!

On the ME front...I also had my thyroid doctor's appointment today. My bloodwork came back normal. My TSH levels are in the normal range which is showing that the Synthroid dosage is right on. He said by me not feeling any different than before the Synthroid, it tells him that I am a healthy person. So, I guess that is good. I have only lost 3 pounds since my last visit with him. He would like to see me lose 20 pounds by my next visit in August. I would like to lose more like 45 pounds but I know it is not happening in that short amount of time. He doesn't suggest me doing any supplements or medicated weight loss options. Instead, I need to limit my calories to 1000 calories or less a day. Ugh! I know it is necessary but the thought of "dieting" makes me cringe. All of a sudden, I need a cake batter Blizzard from DQ...in a waffle cone.


Tuesday, April 15, 2014


If you haven't seen this video about moms...you must.


Friday, April 11, 2014

My Babies are Nine Months

Maxwell and Harper are 9 months old. I think this has been my favorite month so far! They are really becoming the funniest, little people. Real people! They are becoming so individual. One of the best part of having twins. When people have one baby, they worry about their baby meeting the developmental milestones and are constantly comparing their baby to other babies. Having two babies at the same time has really made it clear that babies are individuals. They each have their different strengths. I love seeing their different personalities.

The babies have their 9 month checkups on the 18th so I will update with their weights and heights later. Hopefully they are out of the 7th percentile for height! Ha!

Max is our whiny needy boy. Jeremy swears that I have created a monster. He just loves his mama! I have to admit that I don't hate this. I love that he wants to snuggle with me. However, the not being able to leave the room without him shouting for me is a tad inconvenient. When we go anywhere, he is a bit clingy...I think the separation anxiety is in full force.

Max is such a curious guy. He is into EVERYTHING! He easily is down the hall within a few seconds. Which means anything remotely at his level...will be investigated and destroyed. He can pull up to his feet on pretty much anything. (He has even tried the bare wall with some success.) He can get to his knees in the middle of the floor. I think he is close to at least standing on his own for a long period of time. For now, he can stand for a few seconds before he realizes and sits down.

Max has FOUR teeth. He is constantly feeling his top teeth with his tongue. He also loves to give us kisses. This is by far the BEST thing he has learned. He doesn't give open mouth, slobbery kisses. He really puckers and leans in. I have video from when he first started it but now he is a pro! Love it!

Max is a pickier eater than he used to be. He isn't a huge fan of veggies. Even his tried and true fav from "back in the day", green beans, is getting snubbed by the boy. But he loves to eat anything and everything else. If it is fruit or a dinner puree...he will "mmmmm" all throughout the meal. He is also really good at feeding himself. He loves the puffs, crackers, mangos, carrots, and bananas. We haven't incorporated too many other real foods yet. He has a bad gag reflux so I am being slower with him in starting Stage 3 foods. He is good with all Stage 3 fruits and veggies but the meals with pasta and larger chunks bugs him. He makes an awful face and pushes it out or chokes. Such a dramatic boy!

He wears size 3 diapers. Because of his short little legs, he can still wear 3-6 month pants and 6 month pants. But the majority of his clothes are 6-9 months. He can wear 9 month clothes too but they are a bit big. He is an awesome napper during the day! He takes a thirty minute to forty five minute nap in the morning and then an hour to two hour nap in the afternoon. But...night sleeping isn't his specialty. He is still a good sleeper but just not the same as his sis. He will sleep from about 7 or 8pm to 5 or 6am. But he wakes about 2-3 times at night for paci replacement or a little love pat.

Now for our sweet, happy baby girl. She is literally always happy. I am not exaggerating. This girl is always smiling even when she is so exhausted. She loves everyone and knows no stranger. She is so laid back. She just goes with the flow and is a free spirit. I love watching her explore her world. Everything is funny. She cracks up over anything.

She is also quite the explorer, like her brother. She can pull to her knees but isn't quite as brave to pull herself to her feet. She does love standing at their activity table. Her favorite toy is her baby doll. She immediately grabs it pulls it in for a hug and a kiss. The cutest thing! She likes to help her brother get into trouble. She usually plays lookout or giggles at his attempts for crazy stunts. The other day, she was racing after her brother crawling down the hall. She could hardly crawl because she was giggling all the way. I love those moments!

She still only has her two teeth. She has been licking all around her mouth lately. It has created this awful dry skin rash around her mouth. It will be better in morning and then by the end of the day the rash is back. If you have any remedies besides Vaseline...I am all ears! She also gives the best open mouthed, slobbery, nearly licking kisses! Although messy, just as sweet.

Harper loves all foods. She isn't picky. She is also really good at eating the chunkier foods. She does not gag or make strange faces. She loves feeding herself. She tries to grab the spoon to feed herself. She is also a pro at the sippy cup now and this is new. I have been trying to train them on all sippy cup types and she has finally been successful with one kind. Max is still trying.

Harper wears size 3 diapers and is mainly in 9 month clothing. She still wears quite a bit of 6-9 month clothing too. Her chunky little legs prevent her from wearing some of the 6-9 month pants though. I love those thunder thighs. She is also an amazing sleeper! She is not a big fan of napping...always afraid she will miss something. But at night...she crashes! She could probably sleep longer but we usually wake her up with Max in the morning. She doesn't need comforting at night. She also has given up the pacifier and never uses it anymore.

9 months!!!

The outtakes

Daddy loves to dress us in the morning!

Ready for school, Dad!

Celebrating St. Patty's Day

Love that table!

Our first swing at the park

Swinging at the park

It was fun!

Harper kept wanting to look at the ground. 

We got to ride in the cart for the first time!

We also got to eat in highchairs at the restaurant for the first time!

We love to read!

We are just too cute!

Harper on lookout for Max's shenangians

I love my Grampa!

More adventures

First wagon ride. I love how Max is holding on and Harper is relaxing like a lady.

Bounce house fun at our friend, Penny's 3rd birthday party.

We are beyond blessed to get the opportunity to watch these angels grow and learn. I sometimes feel unworthy of them. My heart could explode from all of the love they have brought into our lives. Gosh! I will stop gushing.

I have started to plan their first birthday party! WHAT?!!!! Yep. In three months. Crazy. Talk.


Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Update on Mommy and Daddy

I go back to see my thyroid doctor in a couple weeks. I wish I could give this amazing update that all symptoms have been relieved and I feel 100% again. That is not the case.

Granted, I don't feel as awful as I did before seeing Dr. Sokol back in February. I was placed on Synthroid 100mg once a day.

The one thing I was hoping this would help was my weight. I have been running or walking and watching what I am eating but still putting on weight. I have lost ONE pound! That. is. it.

I am still overly tired. My babies are not the cause of this. They sleep. I never wake up rested even after 7-8 hours.

My skin is getting better. It used to be so dry and either the medicine or the warmer weather and gallons of lotion are helping.

I am looking for a job. I should probably be panicked at this point that I haven't found anything. But I am not. Jeremy is. Ha! I put in my resignation at South Middle. I am looking for a job within education or able to use my education expertise in a non-classroom setting. I want to be able to spend more quality time with my family. I am also sick of being stressed out about work. I need a couple years to be able to be a better Mom. That is more important than being a stellar teacher at this point in my life. I am sure I will go back to teaching because I do feel like it is something I am good at. But who knows?

I have applied to a million different places. I haven't heard back from many of those. I am starting to doubt my gutsiness--(is that a word?) I know God will provide. He always does. I get paid through August. But I really would like to know what I am doing for a job after June 5.


He loves his new job. He is happier. He spends more time with us. So therefore, I love his new job. I wish I could find something that made me as happy as he is. He is good at this job too. So proud of him.

I wouldn't leave a post without the babes. Here they are in their new outfits from their Nonnie and Grampa.