My resolution for 2017 was to write on this blog twice a month. I was doing good...for like 3 whole weeks. I haven't been back here since January 21. What happened?!
LIFE. I have been running on all cylinders since then. Jeremy has been traveling a lot. I have even been out of town once in that time. Teaching in both locations is in the "busy season" of grading, projects, etc. The time I have free from work, I find myself cleaning, cooking and playing. I don't get a free moment where there is NOTHING to do...like blog. Hence, my resolution is destroyed.
But I am here. Still. I am still going to try. Hang with me as I find some kind of balance.
(My brain is so cluttered that I just took 45 minutes off in the middle of writing this to grade some college students' projects. I. Can't. Stop.)
Before this post gets off the rails...here's some toddler spam. My beautiful nearly 4-year-olds! Gah!
We went to the Globetrotters! So fun!
My mom went too!
Daddy-Daughter Dance
We got this dress especially for her date. You will see that this is now the only dress she wants to wear. Ever.
We found this cute little donut shop where the kids could create their own donut masterpiece and watch it get made.
Church pic. And that dress again.
Dress for success day at their school. The dress...again.
Jeremy has been in 2 different states in just this week. So I was a bad mom and we did Chick-fil-a one night earlier and then they got to experience their first happy meals too. We have always been too cheap...even for McDonald's...to get them their own happy meals. They will now be expecting them now! Also, they call this place "Old McDonalds" which is just the cutest.
I posted this video to my Instagram. Max got this Marshall toy from my niece for Christmas. It does so many different things that it's crazy. We never had cool toys like this. One of the commands has Marshall dancing. These two just joined right in and followed his commands. Ha!
Three-year-olds are just...awful. I mean this in the best and most honest way. I love them to pieces but year 3 is hard. Three-year-olds have attitudes and opinions. They have tempers and out of control emotions.
The problem is that I, a 33-year-old mother, have the same issues: attitude, opinions for days, a temper and out of control emotions. The mix of all of us together is a walking hormonal nightmare. The only true difference between my 3-year-olds and me is that 1) I can drive. 2) I can drink. 3) I don't throw myself onto the floor of the produce section of the grocery store.
However, there are windows in the day where three-year-olds are just the absolute best! Their genuine love of everything. It is always "the best ever" and they "love you soooo much". They tell the greatest stories. So great that I am never sure if the story is fiction or not. I hope fiction...they can get crazy! All of their songs come with hand motions...even the songs they make up in their head. They believe in magic, imaginary friends, peace, love, hope, and me.
They really are spectacular little people. I didn't really mean that they are awful earlier...but parenting got real this year. We can legit screw up our kids now. I feel like before age three, they have no recollection on what the hell we've done or said to them. Now they will remember all of our mistakes and missteps. They will officially need therapy from their childhoods. It is quite the pressure.
Raising one 3 year old is challenging. Raising two 3-year-olds is impossible! Ha! They couldn't be more different from one another either. They really are opposites.
Max is the particular one...some may say OCD. He loves to cheat at board games. Hates to lose...whether that be a game or racing to his bedroom. He screams when he is upset. Like scream-screams. Not little toddler tantrums. Like he is summoning demons from deep inside...exorcist style. Like a Gremlin being fed after midnight. He has broken this mama's heart with phrases like "I don't love you" and "You are a mean mom" and "Get away from me".
But he is also the most loving boy ever. He loves me hardcore. He snuggles and rocks with me every night. He dances to songs in his head and has some pretty good moves. He knows every word to every song on the radio. (This may not be a great parenting move by us.) He is SO smart. I don't mean because he is my kid. He really is a gifted child. We joke that he is our future engineer. He is a self-anointed "Puzzle Master" as he can put together large puzzles meant for someone twice his age. This is most likely the reason he is also in more trouble at school and home than his much calmer sister.
Harper is our free spirit. She marches to the beat of her own drum. Her drum is filled with glitter, rainbows, unicorns, puppies, dolls and dresses. Seriously the girliest of girly girls. She hugs everyone she loves with such force that you know she means it. Her high-pitched voice warms your heart as she says "I love you so much, Mama!" She doesn't know how to run...this was made apparent at our brief 6-week stint as soccer players. She gallops or skips everywhere she goes. This just adds to the girlish charm of the princess.
However, Harper is no angel (although she played one in a Christmas play). She is very calculating. She is seen by most everyone as the sweet one (mainly because everything listed above). However, she knows how to manipulate even the expert preschool teachers. She definitely has her Daddy in her back pocket. She also has a mean pincher...as in her hands. She pinches her brother quietly, but if you ever get a glimpse of her face as she does it...you may have nightmares. It's the three-year-old in her really. She can't help the devilish grin (at least that's what I tell myself to sleep at night).
Like the handmade camel and angel costumes?
Go Royals!
The best part of parenting! (and best part of me!)
PS...more rambling parenting posts to come! -Lisa-
I do feel the blog has become less about writing to you all. Although, I obviously do. And more about writing down the parts of Max and Harper's life that I don't want to forget. The blog has become the baby books that are sitting in their closets collecting dust.
But somehow believe I have written in their baby books more in the last year than here!
Max and Harper are thriving. They are the most beautiful, intelligent humans. (Biased much?) I know I am nearly 3 years into this Mommy gig but some days I still can't believe that I am their mom. I get to be their person.
Their sweet voices when they say "I love you, Mommy" or being woke up at the side of my bed when they have had a bad dream. All they want is me. I relish in those sweet, tender moments. I love them so much it hurts.
However, there are moments that I forget that this Mommy job is the best ever. Two year olds are frustrating little demons sometimes. (In the best way possible, of course!)
Harper refuses to get dressed for Jeremy and it is a struggle with me too. She is so independent. Every morning the struggle is real.
Max loves to now poop in his pants. He has been potty trained since September. Harper---no accidents ever since November-ish. Max hates poopin on the potty at school. Doesn't mind it so much at home. We are SO over this regression. But his teachers are doing a great job at school of encouraging him and he is making improvements week to week.
Both are amazing little sleepers. They have been going down without fights and staying asleep in their beds all night, except for the occasional "bad dream" that they tell me about.
We have had lots of different adventures over the last few months. Here are just a few to share with you:
Park time
Princess Harpy Harps
Jammy time
Our 2nd dentist visit
Woo-hoo! Shorts!
We love the Spring weather in the winter!
Nothing says St. Patty's Day like a good ole booger
Now that the kids have their own little thoughts and ideas, conversations are getting pretty freaking hilarious. I am laughing non-stop about their stories, facial expressions, excitement about life, and questions about life. I wanted to write down some of these conversations so I could have a record of them.
Every night I put them to bed by singing our usual songs: "Jesus Loves Me", "Twinkle, Twinkle", "A Bushel and Peck" (We call it the I Love You Song), and Mommy-created songs that are referred to as Max's Song and Harpy's Song.
After singing in my beautiful and on-key voice, I usually pray with them and we talk about what we are going to dream about. On one particular night, Harper insisted that I dream about Grampa. This prompted a deep discussion on Heaven (as you know my dad passed away in June).
Max: Grampa lives in Heaven with God and Jesus. We will never see him again.
Me: We will see him again. When we go to Heaven.
Max: I don't want to go to Heaven. I want to stay here with you.
Me: We only go to Heaven when God and Jesus need us to.
Max: Can Grampa come back to us?
Me: No, honey.
Max: Well, I don't like God and Jesus.
Harper: I don't like God and Jesus either.
Me: No, we LOVE God and Jesus. They made us. They created everything that we love.
Max: Like Paw Patrol?
Me: Yes, even Paw Patrol. And the flowers, and the sky. And God even made you!
Harper: Are God and Jesus nice?
Me: Oh,yes.
Max: And we see them when we die?
Harper: Grampa was sick.
Me: Yes, Grampa was sick and he died to go live in Heaven.
Harper: When I am sick I go to the doctor.
Me: We go to the doctor to get better. Grampa just couldn't get better so God took him to Heaven. We will see him when we go to Heaven.
Max: I don't want to get sick.
Me: Grampa was old, remember. He was ready to go to Heaven. We aren't ready yet.
Max: I miss Grampa
Me: Me too, buddy.
(Oh, boy. That was a rough one. I thought I was in the clear. There was silence. And then...)
Harper: We remember Grampa.
Me: We will always remember Grampa. We hold him in our heart with all of the other people that love us.
Harper: Like the heart on my shirt?
Me: No,like the heart inside us.
Harper: So, Grampa is in my body???!!! (disgusted confusion)
Me: Let's just go to bed.
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At the dinner table after "school".
Harper: I have a booboo and need a Rapunzel bandaid.
Me: Ok. I'll get you one after bath.
Max: I have an owie too.
Me: What happened?
Max: This little kid (mind you he is referring to a 5 year old) pushed me down when he was on the scooter.
Me: Did he say sorry?
Max: No, he hugged me. I pushed him down because I didn't want his dumb hug.
Me: That wasn't very nice.
Max: But Mom he did it on purpose.
(sigh)
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On the way to school with Jeremy the other day.
Jeremy: Do you guys want to count birds on the way to school this morning?
Both of them: YEAHHHHHH
Max: Look, I see a goose crab
Harper: A good crab? (Harper chuckle)
Jeremy: What's a goose crab?
Max: A big bird that walks close to the ground
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While watching The Good Dinosaur. (Spoiler alert!)
Max: Papa died.
Me: Yes, but he went to Heaven.
Max: No, he didn't.
Me: Yes, he did. He will live with God and Jesus.
Max: Mom, it's just a dinosaur movie.
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In the morning before school. I already left for work.
Harper: Where's Mom?
Jeremy: She's at work. Why?
Harper: I want my hair done.
Jeremy: I'll do your hair, honey.
Harper: No, no, no.
Jeremy: Why?
Harper: You'll make me look crazy.
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Harper: (during a commercial of a favorite show): It's coming back on, Max. I promise.
Max: No. You don't say promise. I say promise.
Jeremy: So, you own the word 'promise', Max?
Max: Yes I do (nodding head)
Jeremy: Ok. How much did you pay for it?
Max: Sixty bucks.
(schooled)
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Updates in pictures to come soon! I have the day off while new hardwood floors are installed in my house.
A lot has happened between my last post in September until now...but I am going to ignore my absence and move on like old friends. (I know my friends and I can be away from each other for months or years but we always are able to pick right up where we left off like there was no time gap.) That's how I feel about the blog. I want to continue to blog. I do. I just feel like the last 8 months have been difficult: sadness over Dad's illness and death, busy job, busy toddlers, etc. I do regret not making this space a priority. I am not going to make any promises but I do want to try and write more. It may be very therapeutic. I have a million things to say. But let's start with Christmas!
Christmas was a great time as a kid. I remember the excitement and anticipation. I loved our traditions and I loved the idea of Santa. Heck, I think I finally found out the truth when I was 12 or 13. I just wanted that magic to last.
That's what is great about having kids over Christmas. Bringing that Christmas magic alive to them is amazing. Seeing Christmas through their eyes makes my heart melt and it brings back that childhood magic times 100!
We tried to take the kids to any holiday event that kids would enjoy. But I have to admit, we had just as much fun as they did.
We started a new tradition of the Elf on the Shelf. This is Ellie Doodle. She made our lives amazing for a few weeks. They slept in (you know because we had to wait until Ellie Doodle gets back) She made them want to actually poop in the potty because she would be so proud of them and tell Santa. What would we do without Ellie Doodle?
They had so much fun decorating the tree this year.
Cheesin'
I love a good crying Santa picture. They are so cute!
My whole family (all of them!) went to the Country Club Plaza for dinner and a sleigh ride. It was so much fun and a lasting memory. We need to start making new memories and traditions because Christmas is so different without our Dad.
Photo bombed on the Plaza
Weather has been so odd here. Weeks leading up to Christmas were so warm for the season. A week before Christmas, Jeremy and I were removing leaves from the yard. Crazy weather!
We made cookies to give to friends. And made cards for their teachers at school. They had so much fun!
There is a Magic Tree. It is gorgeous.
Magical, right?
We went through the drive through park with Christmas Lights. The kids got into jammies and got to sit in the front seat.
We had to wait in a long slow-moving line for 45 minutes and they did fantastic.
We visited our train station downtown to go through Santa's train. We stayed to look at a couple giant trees too.
We then decided to make our own train. Icing was the real attraction here.
I feel like all of these events, outings and fun were good for them. But they also took my mind off of the idea of spending Christmas without my dad. They distracted me from the deep sadness and anxiety I had. I am not sure what I would do without them. I think our whole family would have been pretty depressed without these two. They brought laughter and smiles during the holiday season. The way Dad would want. We had a noticeable hole where Dad should be. His chair, his laugh, his smile, his prayer, etc. We missed him but we also enjoyed family time. Together. The only way Dad would have it.
Christmas with Jeremy's family
Missing a couple nieces and their husbands but this is most of the crew
We love our Nonnie
Christmas morning
"Mama, Santa came!"
My fam
All 4 of us
Their smiles are really funny lately.
A few days after Christmas, the weather changed and we finally got SNOW! I am not a huge fan of snow. These two LOVE it. I had to force them to come inside. Nonnie got them snowsuits last year and we only got to to use them once. They still fit this year and she got them these sleds. They had a blast.
Part of the Max and Harper's present from Mommy and Daddy was their big kid beds. My sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephew watched them for their first ever overnight. I was sad, but it was time. I was mainly worried I wouldn't be there when they needed me. Come to find out...they are just fine without me. Sad. But it was great to have a date night with Jeremy. We also put together their toddler beds while they were gone. That way they could come in and see them. They have been sleeping amazingly! I wish we had done it sooner. They are sleeping rock stars.
Max loves firetrucks. And Paw Patrol. We blew his mind with this one.
First night in his big kid bed.
Princess Harper's bed (this is how she refers to it)
She got a little crazy the first night. I had to move her. The 2nd night I found her on the floor at 2am. She is staying in her bed better now.
So Christmas was pretty great. I hope to make other posts in the next couple days. I go back to work on Monday and need to make sure I am getting caught up. I hope you all had a fantastic holidays. I am now going to spend my afternoon getting caught up on reading your blogs. I haven't read in a month so I am sure I missed quite a bit.
