Kids Say the Darndest Things

Now that the kids have their own little thoughts and ideas, conversations are getting pretty freaking hilarious. I am laughing non-stop about their stories, facial expressions, excitement about life, and questions about life. I wanted to write down some of these conversations so I could have a record of them.


Every night I put them to bed by singing our usual songs: "Jesus Loves Me", "Twinkle, Twinkle", "A Bushel and Peck" (We call it the I Love You Song), and Mommy-created songs that are referred to as Max's Song and Harpy's Song.

After singing in my beautiful and on-key voice, I usually pray with them and we talk about what we are going to dream about. On one particular night, Harper insisted that I dream about Grampa. This prompted a deep discussion on Heaven (as you know my dad passed away in June).

Max: Grampa lives in Heaven with God and Jesus. We will never see him again.
Me: We will see him again. When we go to Heaven.
Max: I don't want to go to Heaven. I want to stay here with you.
Me: We only go to Heaven when God and Jesus need us to.
Max: Can Grampa come back to us?
Me: No, honey.
Max: Well, I don't like God and Jesus.
Harper: I don't like God and Jesus either.
Me: No, we LOVE God and Jesus. They made us. They created everything that we love.
Max: Like Paw Patrol?
Me: Yes, even Paw Patrol. And the flowers, and the sky. And God even made you!
Harper: Are God and Jesus nice?
Me: Oh,yes.
Max: And we see them when we die?
Harper: Grampa was sick.
Me: Yes, Grampa was sick and he died to go live in Heaven.
Harper: When I am sick I go to the doctor.
Me: We go to the doctor to get better. Grampa just couldn't get better so God took him to Heaven. We will see him when we go to Heaven.
Max: I don't want to get sick.
Me: Grampa was old, remember. He was ready to go to Heaven. We aren't ready yet.
Max: I miss Grampa
Me: Me too, buddy.

(Oh, boy. That was a rough one. I thought I was in the clear. There was silence. And then...)

Harper: We remember Grampa.
Me: We will always remember Grampa. We hold him in our heart with all of the other people that love us.
Harper: Like the heart on my shirt?
Me: No,like the heart inside us.
Harper: So, Grampa is in my body???!!! (disgusted confusion)
Me: Let's just go to bed.

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At the dinner table after "school".

Harper: I have a booboo and need a Rapunzel bandaid.
Me: Ok. I'll get you one after bath.
Max: I have an owie too.
Me: What happened?
Max: This little kid (mind you he is referring to a 5 year old) pushed me down when he was on the scooter.
Me: Did he say sorry?
Max: No, he hugged me. I pushed him down because I didn't want his dumb hug.
Me: That wasn't very nice.
Max: But Mom he did it on purpose.

(sigh)

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On the way to school with Jeremy the other day.

Jeremy: Do you guys want to count birds on the way to school this morning?
Both of them: YEAHHHHHH
Max: Look, I see a goose crab
Harper: A good crab? (Harper chuckle)
Jeremy: What's a goose crab?
Max: A big bird that walks close to the ground

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While watching The Good Dinosaur. (Spoiler alert!)

Max: Papa died.
Me: Yes, but he went to Heaven.
Max: No, he didn't.
Me: Yes, he did. He will live with God and Jesus.
Max: Mom, it's just a dinosaur movie.


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In the morning before school. I already left for work.

Harper: Where's Mom?
Jeremy: She's at work. Why?
Harper: I want my hair done.
Jeremy: I'll do your hair, honey.
Harper: No, no, no.
Jeremy: Why?
Harper: You'll make me look crazy.

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Harper: (during a commercial of a favorite show): It's coming back on, Max. I promise.
Max: No. You don't say promise. I say promise.
Jeremy: So, you own the word 'promise', Max?
Max: Yes I do (nodding head)
Jeremy: Ok. How much did you pay for it?
Max: Sixty bucks.

(schooled)

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Updates in pictures to come soon! I have the day off while new hardwood floors are installed in my house.

-Lisa-