I have wanted to feel life inside of my belly...and I can. They don't have large movements anymore because I imagine it is pretty cramped in there now. But I can feel them.
I have wanted to be a mom more than anything.
This is why I feel so horrible having these feelings...
I AM MISERABLE! I am so large and so uncomfortable. Carrying around this belly is no easy fete. I have now officially gained 55 pounds!!!! Nobody tells you that the end of pregnancy really isn't fun. Every time I move, I have pain or pressure. I don't sleep more than two hours at a time either because of contractions, getting up to pee, being so HOT, or just plain uncomfortable!
I want these babies out of here! I know that it is early but I sometimes have these feelings that they need to be evicted. I want the best for them I really do. But on the other hand, it would be great to not be pregnant anymore AND I want to meet them!!
Ok...I am glad I got that off my chest.
Now I feel guilty. The truth is...I would never in a million years wish away these pains and discomfort. I would rather feel these pains for another year than to go through the pain of fertility treatments again. That is why I feel guilty complaining. I know the pain of the unknown and it is MUCH worse than the pain of these last week(s) of pregnancy.
I am 33 weeks now. I have made it nearly two weeks past the pre-term labor scare! I had another scare last Thursday where I was back in Labor & Delivery. The contractions got under control and I was able to go back to bedresting.
|33weeks 2 days|
On Saturday, we are 34 weeks and they won't try to stop labor. I just know that with all of the drama that Max and Harper have created...they will now want their mommy to wait another few weeks. Induction or C-section will be at 37 weeks but I am really hoping to go into labor anytime after Saturday. The sooner the better. I can hardly wait to hold them in my arms.
Their nursery is ready. Our house is ready. Their clothes and blankets are washed. Items are purchased. WE ARE READY! Come on babies!