Monday, September 30, 2013

Sad, sad day!!

This will be brief since it is my LAST DAY of maternity leave. I have snuggled Max and Harper most of the day knowing I will be in baby snuggle withdrawals the next 8 months of my life. Jeremy and I are in talks and plans to see if this will be my last year teaching for awhile. I would love to be a stay at home mama until they are in school or much older.

Tomorrow morning will be a tough one. But Jeremy is home with them (BY HIMSELF!) for the next two weeks. They start daycare October 15. We took all of their "stuff" to daycare today and met some of the teachers. It is a great place and they will be in great hands...but I am SO SAD.

Here is a bit of what I will be missing!

Max loves to talk and coo!
So serious

They love their Bumbo seats!

Sleeping in

This is a common expression from Harper when she isn't smiling!


Monday, September 23, 2013

What Does the Fox Say??

**Max does not have a hernia. Woo-hoo!! Instead it is fluid that they expect to dissipate in a few months and isn't dangerous. Prayers answered for sure!**

Some milestones for the babies this weekend...(all a tad sad for Mommy).

1. We started transitioning them to their cribs on Friday night.

I was not ready. However, Dr. C said it is best to do this when I am off of work. He also recommended doing this before they were 3 months old. I felt so far away from them. I wanted to sleep but a part of me also wanted them to NEED me so I could go snuggle them. But they slept! Wonderfully. And...we slept. Wonderfully. We use our same bedtime rituals and so that made it easy on all of us. Here is our bedtime ritual:
  • Wipe down or bath time (We give baths on Wednesdays and Saturdays.)
  • Lotion them up with calming, lavender lotion
  • Dress in their jammies
  • Feed them in low lit nursery
  • Storytime (We read together as a family. I got lots of books as gifts but we also have made trips to the library for more variety.)
  • Turn on their "Baby go to Sleep" music. (It is lullabies with heartbeat sounds in the background.)
  • Lay them down when they are drowsy.
  • Sometimes Max takes his paci but not always.

2. We both went out without Max and Harper.

Jeremy and I are huge baseball fans, especially our home team-the Kansas City Royals. We usually go to several games a season. We didn't pre-purchase our tickets this year because of the twins. I was hugely pregnant for the first half of the season and even on bedrest. So we didn't go. Then we weren't going to take newborn babies to a baseball stadium. So...we decided since this past Sunday was the last home game, we needed to go. My sister, brother-in-law, nephew, and niece kept them while we went. I felt much better leaving them because they were in great hands. They love those babies so much! It was odd for both of us to be together without them. By the end of the 8th inning, I started staring at pictures of them on my phone. And wouldn't you went into extra innings! I was ready to abandon the game at 0-0. But I am glad that Jeremy convinced us to see the amazing bottom of the 10th inning to see the game winning homerun. The babies were fine and Mom and Dad survived too!

I forgot how much I missed one on one time with Jeremy.

3. This next one has nothing to do with a milestone but the title. I am so obsessed with this ridiculous fox song. If you haven't heard it, you must. Jeremy is fed up with me singing it or humming it constantly. Last night, I sang it to the babies. I think it is a great way for them to learn the animal sounds--ha! You must know what the fox says!


Thursday, September 19, 2013

Max update and some really cute videos!

I took Max for his ultrasound on his (for lack of a better term) balls! I made sure the ultrasound tech covered him with a wash cloth. And of course, he peed through the wash cloth and another one. By the end of the ultrasound, he started giving me his "I am going to poop" face. I asked her to hurry because it was coming. As soon as she finished, I had a diaper ready and he filled it before I had his shorts back on! 

The ultrasound tech couldn't share the findings since a doctor and radiologist are the only ones that can. However, listening to her conversation with the radiologist...I think he has a double hernia. This will most likely require surgery. Poor guy! I am just waiting to get the call from Dr. C's office to confirm. 

Here are some videos of my darlings. Harper dancing on her two month birthday. She loves music and it calms her instantly. She was just in a crying fit of rage about 5 minutes before the video. Max rolling over. I finally got it on camera. He has been doing this for a couple weeks now. 


Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Weight gain, hernias, and shots...Oh my!

Today was a happening day for me and the babies.

Max and Harper are 10 weeks old tomorrow!! They had their two month check up which included...the dreaded shots! (More on that later)

Max weighed in at a whopping 12 pounds 2 ounces, 21 inches long. It puts him in the 52% for weight and a sad 6% for length. He is my short, fat baby. Just love that chunky monkey!

Harper weighed in at 10 pounds, 14 ounces, 21.5 inches long. It puts her in the 44% for weight and 28% for length. She is just so dainty and petite compared to my Max. She is becoming more and more beautiful everyday.

Not only are they putting on am I!!! I kind of forgot that I am no longer pregnant where I can eat ice cream and cookies and it not matter. Oops! So I have put on around 5 pounds in the last 4 weeks. Yikes. I am going to get back on track as soon as I eat the rest of the cookies that my mom brought over today (thanks, Mom!).

I also got my IUD put in today. Dr. Abney and her nurse have bets that I am back in to have it out in a couple years because they think we will want more babies! (Not if Jeremy has anything to do with it!)

They had to get FOUR shots a piece. I literally cried at the sound of their cries. They had two nurses tag team them. They leaned against their little, chubby legs while they one after one plunged those needles into their thighs. Max was smiling about 10 seconds after the traumatic event but tender-hearted Harper wanted snuggles from me and her Nonnie. (My mom was able to come and help me because I worried about how I would console them both.)

It was a great report from the doctor except for one hiccup. Dr. C noticed that Max has a possible hernia. We have noticed that his "sack" was uneven. We go in for an ultrasound tomorrow at Children's Mercy. If it is indeed a hernia (which Dr. C is pretty positive about) then Max will need surgery around the 6 month mark. This was more disturbing than the shots! I just can't imagine my baby boy having to endure surgery. So I pray that it is just fluid but glad they are catching this now in case it is a hernia. When I told Jeremy about the hernia, he was so upset and concerned. We are both worried about our little man.

I will keep you all updated on the hernia situation. I also will post some family pictures from over the weekend sometime soon too. I am so glad that otherwise we have two very happy and healthy babies. Dr. C said they are VERY much advanced in developmental milestones. They smile, coo, track with eyes, and rolling from tummy to back. I am proud of my over achievers!


Monday, September 16, 2013

Love, Mommy

**In Max and Harper's baby books, there are special sections to write letters to your babies. I finished mine over the weekend. There isn't a large space to write in so they are shorter than I would have liked. I also realize that I repeated some of the some things in Max's and Harper's. Jeremy is working on his letters still. I didn't make a first draft and just thought of things as I went. He is a perfectionist and has several drafts in the works. I will post his letters when he finishes them.**

My dear Max,
I fell in love with you instantly and you have brought so much joy and happiness into my life. I only hope that you will continue to be a Mama's boy! You will continue to grow even though I'm never ready for that. I wish for you a lifetime of happiness. Life will not be easy. I learned this in my search for you. When life gets too difficult or you feel no one understands, God does and He is always there for you. He made you and has great plans for you. Trust in Him always. I want you to be a good boy who respects others, especially women. Have good manners when you are in school and always respect your elders. You are attractive and beautiful on the outside but it is what is inside you that really matters. Be smart! Don't be too gullible and easy to trust those that may get you to stray from your beliefs. Education is very important so never stop learning. And never think you are too smart or too good for anything. Nothing comes easy so always work hard. I love you always and forever no matter what.

My gorgeous Harper,
I love you more than words could ever express. You are a beautiful gift from God and I thank Him everyday for you. You are going to grow even if I want you to slow down. I only want the very best life for you. However, life isn't easy. You will have experiences that make you doubt yourself and God. When life gets difficult, turn to God for strength. He always understands. He made you and has a plan. I know this through the journey to get you. Trust in Him always. Never doubt your beauty. You are gorgeous and let no one convince you otherwise. Make sure your inner beauty shows as wel because that's what counts. Always give respect even when you feel disrespected. Never let anyone convince you to sway from your values and morals. Respect yourself. Be smart and don't always trust others as they aren't always worthy of your trust. Education is important so never stop learning. But don't think you are too smart or good for anything. Nothing comes easy so work hard. I love you always and forever.

I also created my first photo book with Shutterfly. It was free! I have about 4-5 codes for free books so plan on getting those all completed before the codes expire. This first book was about their arrival into the world. I am happy with the way it turned out. Here is a glimpse at it and if you haven't made a photo book should!!

Click link below to see our photo book and then click the front cover on the Shutterfly website to view the rest:


Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Two Months!!!

Max and Harper are officially TWO MONTHS old! I can't believe how fast the last two months have flown by. They will be NINE WEEKS old tomorrow.

Some of their accomplishments this month:

Harper rolled over from tummy to back at 4 weeks but Max has accomplished this as well at 8 weeks! Woo Hoo!

Smiling ALL the time. (Well not all the time but they are very happy babies!)

Control of their heads. They both enjoy tummy time and really pick up their heads and hold them steady. I am thinking we are going to bust out the Bumbo seats soon.

Grew out of newborn diapers and newborn clothes. (tear)

Sleeping through the night (What, what!!) They sleep at least 6 hours at a time now.

They both nap in their cribs now...but we are (ok, I am ) not ready to move them to their cribs at night. They still sleep in their bassinet on the side of our bed.

They pay attention a bit during our story time before bed.

Harper loves listening to music and it calms her down when she is upset. She especially loves when Pandora slips in a Spice Girls song.

They have gone everywhere we have gone. They have been out to eat multiple times, grocery shopping, clothes shopping, family get togethers, visited their Nonnie's work, farmer's market, friends' houses for get togethers, their cousin's soccer game, and unfortunately, their great-grandparents' funerals. They are great travelers and love being in the car!

I only have less than three weeks left at home with them. I am dreading October 1. I know that day is going to SUCK! However, Jeremy is going to be home with them until October 15 when they start daycare. I am fortunate that I will have had nearly 12 weeks with them.

We all get our family pictures taken this Saturday so I can't wait to share those with you all too!

Here are some pictures of my two little darlings. Enjoy!

Harper & Max love laying on their Daddy this way!

They didn't have a chance...they had to be Chiefs fans!

Max loves bath time!

Harper loves kicking the water

Dressed for the funeral


My parents with their 9 grandchildren

What up?!

Sad day to pack up newborn clothes

Hey guys!


Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Infertility Thoughts From "The Other Side"

For those of you that are trying for your take home baby, this is for you. For those of you that are blessed (like me) to receive the lovable take home baby(ies) we hoped for, you may agree (or not).

I initially thought that infertility was just a short chapter to my life. It turns out, infertility never left me. It is a part of who I am and possibly always will be. It is true that the twins have seemingly completed our infertility struggles.

BUT infertility consumes us.  It overwhelms every part of us.  It infiltrates our emotions, our relationships, our finances, our intimacies.  It becomes so much a part of so much of who we are. 

Without realizing it, we begin to expect people around us to understand what it’s like to be infertile.  We long for understanding that we cannot even verbalize.  I wonder if we are not holding people to a standard that only God Himself can meet? 

I know that I expected everyone to understand what I was going through...even Jeremy. I disliked and loathed the idiots that unknowingly made stupid comments like "Why haven't you two had children yet?" or "Do you not want kids?" or "Are you doing it right?" or "Have you tried this?" or "You can borrow mine!" I found myself more focused on their idiocracy and insensitivity.

I still find myself dodging these same idiots. Except now they come with insensitive comments about how we obtained the twins. "Twins?" or "Do twins run in the family?" or "Gosh! I am glad they are yours." I really want to spew our entire struggle to them. I want to tell them that we spent thousands of dollars, cried millions of tears, and prayed countless prayers for these twins. Yes, they run in the family but we also had to have medical intervention.

But then I realize that the masses don't understand or know too much about the infertile world or my infertile mind.

Infertility is a lot of things.  It is a physical, emotional, relational and financial crisis in a young couple’s life.  It is an anvil on which many marriages are strengthened and some are destroyed.

That infertile mind doesn't go away. The pain is lessened by the smiles of my babies but I still hurt for the "abnormal" process that we had to go through to get these babies. I hurt for the so many women and men that are still in the trenches of IF. I know that those couples are facing the insensitive men and women who just don't understand.

I am sorry that you are having to paste a fake smile on your face when you answer their questions with "Yes, we want children. We will have them in due time. [nervous laugh]" (At least that was my blanket response.)

So, I posted pictures through pregnancy. I post pictures of my babes. But know that I am still infertile. I just pray and hope for your struggle to be lessened because from here on out...being an infertile never ends. We will always be infertile.