The Best IUI Ever!! (Oh and some Dirty Thirty)

I know that I keep reminiscing about the last year. I have had quite a few "OMG" moments lately. I can't help but be in complete and utter awe of God.

On Friday, November 9, 2012, I was feeling uncomfortable all day. After my follicle check at Dr. Kim's office, I was cleared to trigger the next night and have our IUI the next Monday. However, with my IVF debacle of early ovulation...I knew that the uncomfortable crampiness meant that I was ovulating. So, I peed on ovulation sticks with every pee that day. I soon found out that I was right. Here is my post from that night (I was devastated!): click here. 

I thought for sure our chance of parenting was over for a bit longer. I then got a little more positive when I focused on God's plan here. Then here is the post from the actual day of the IUI.

We had our IUI on Sunday, November 11, 2012. The IUI that brought us Max and Harper. The IUI that wasn't supposed to work. The IUI the doctors thought wasn't possible. The IUI that was "ruined" by natural ovulation. 

I love that the day our babies were "conceived" is also their FOUR MONTH birthday! Eight seemingly long months after the IUI, my babies were born. 

I plan on posting about the babies four month birthday next week. I can't believe they are four months old! 

By the way...my 30th birthday was a blast! I quickly realized that I am old. Skating was fun but a lot more painful than I remember. We lasted about an hour before we ready to move on. Still a great time reliving my childhood. (Yes, I need to lose the baby weight which is seen in the pictures but I am so TIRED that I don't even have the energy to try and work out. I will eventually get my crap together.)

My brother is funny (or funny looking!)

Praising God that I made it through Limbo

I fell after making it through Limbo bar...I'm old!

My gorgeous sis

One of my Best friends!

-Lisa-

That Time Again...Welcome ICLW

Welcome all ICLWers! I can't believe it is already this time again. The last month has flown by. Last month, we were doing nothing and the plan was to wait until the spring to proceed with adoption or treatment. Shortly after ICLW ended, we decided that while we are waiting, we were going to try a couple IUIs again.

The cycle moved quickly. I responded to meds, which never happens. I ovulated on my own on CD 13, again, never happens. They had to move up the IUI. I immediately had feelings of this not working. I started spotting CD 23, way too early. I think I started to believe the nurse that this could be implantation bleeding. Well, yesterday, CD 24, I realized it was the dreaded Aunt Flo.

So this IUI didn't work. I am waiting to hear back from Dr. Kim's office to determine what now...we are thinking of doing one more IUI next month, if my body allows it that is.

I am also participating in NaBloPoMo this month. It is through BlogHer and I have to post on my blog EVERYDAY in the month of November. This has been quite the challenge for me but I have made it so far. After today, only nine more days of posting. I. Can. Do. It. But feel free to check out the last 20 posts of rambling thoughts in November.

I look forward to following all of your blogs and learning from you. I love ICLW because it gives me the chance to step out and meet others going through this crazy thing called infertility.

Happy Commenting!
-Lisa-

My Path Whether I Like it or Not

First of all, Amanda at Growing Griswolds is PREGNANT! She got an amazing BETA today so I am thrilled for her.

 I was unsure of how to start off this blog post. I don't want it to be a downer because so many great things are still happening. So I thought the best way to start off was with this amazing news. I love hearing about the infertile becoming fertile. It gives me hope for our situation.

Now, for a bit of the downer...Aunt Flo reared her ugly head. The light spotting and cramping yesterday were obviously not implantation bleeding because today is heavy spotting and cramping. It is a crazy early period but it is what it is.

I am so disappointed even though I knew that this cycle didn't feel right. It was easy for us to picture telling our families and friends that we were pregnant. It was easy for us to envision our first ultrasound. I even found myself looking at my belly more than I should.

So, we are faced with what to do now. I think we will try another iui soon...maybe start this cycle if there are no cysts. But the bigger issue is handing it over to God. Because we can do the treatments and we can hope for the baby of OUR dreams...but if God isn't ready for us to be parents (or parents at all) then it isn't going to happen.

I am struggling with the thought of never being a mom. But what if that is what God has planned for us? Is childlessness something Jeremy and I can deal with? We have to decide when we give it up to Him and start living our lives without thinking about infertility.

I have a wonderful friend at work who literally held me and prayed while I sobbed in her arms. I couldn't have made it through the rest of the day without spilling my guts to her. She is such a strong role model for me. She has an amazing faith and love for God. I am so lucky to have her in my life. Somehow, God knew that I needed her in my life at this exact time of my life.

I often just put a smile on my face and tell everyone I am fine. I even lie on here and make it sound like I really am okay with everything. The truth is that I am struggling to see the bigger picture. I have a hard time accepting this path in life as MY path. I don't want to claim this part of my life. But I must.

-Lisa-

A Cluster of Un-awesomeness & Bitterness

Let me start off by saying that I tried to not get my hopes up this cycle. I tried really hard. But then as the two week wait went on, I slowly, deep down had really positive thoughts. I started feeling every twinge and every cramp and thought that this could be it. Jeremy and I started having conversations of what would we do, what would we say, how would we react. I even had dreams I was actually pregnant. Some crazy and wacky, but still got my hopes up.

I have been super crampy the last couple days and started spotting today. Not a lot. Barely there actually. I called the doctor and left a a message on the nurse's line. I know I won't hear back until tomorrow since it is nearly 4:30 central time. I am not new to this cycle game. They are going to tell me not to worry and that it could be implantation spotting. I am CD 23 and 10 days post ovulation, 8 days post iui. I get it, it very well could be.

But what if it isn't? I berate myself for believing in this cycle's dream. I blame myself for getting both of our hopes too high only to start over again.

I heard a talk on bitterness on K-Love a few days ago. A man on there explained bitterness to be a barrier we build around our heart. We put it there to prevent us from feeling. We put it there to prevent our heart from hurting. But God doesn't want us to be bitter. He wants us to feel, even if it hurts. It means we are alive. We learn from those feelings to better ourselves and our relationships. (Keep in mind, this is one man's interpretation.)

I know that I should not try to protect myself but I don't know how else to deal with the emotional roller coaster of infertility. I think we have to build those barriers around our heart because otherwise my heart would have broken into a thousand pieces long ago.

I know that however this cycle turns up, we will march forward. I just wish that we could march forward with a pregnant belly and healthy baby. I pray that these symptoms are just from implantation. The barrier around my heart wasn't as strong this time; my heart is going to break a little.
-Lisa-

God, Christmas, Prayers

Good morning! It is such a beautiful morning in KC today. Wish I was running, but instead I am getting ready to go to church. We haven't been to church in a couple weeks either for our IUI last week or being out of town the previous week. I know that the physical building of the church isn't much to some people. However, being able to sing and worship God every week really does recharge my spirit. I feel like my week goes better when I have taken the time to praise God. It gives me a focus of Him for the rest of the week. I have missed our church friends and am actually so excited to get there!

I also caved and put up some of our Christmas decorations last night. Lola, the evil cat, is in heaven. She loves Christmas. The dangling ornaments, the ribbons on presents, and lights. She has been more pleasant the last 24 hours than she has in months.

Also, say a prayer for my friend, Amanda, over at Growing Griswolds. She is 6dp5dt and has a very strong pink line for pregnancy. Pray that those healthy babies stick and she has a healthy, successful pregnancy.


-Lisa-

Day 17...ugh!

As you know, I am sick of NaBloPoMo. I forgot why I thought this was a good idea. After this post, I will only have 13 more posts. I. Can. Do. This. I am all for accepting challenges and beating them. I don't even think there is a prize for NaBloPoMo but it proves something to myself.

Since I don't have much to share...and they don't give me prompts on the weekends...here is your funny for the day:

Here is your inspirational for the day:

Have a great weekend!
-Lisa-

No Ghosts for This Wuss!

The NaBloPoMo prompt for today is "Would you buy your dream house if the price was right BUT you also were told it was inhabited by ghosts?"

(By the way, I am tiring quickly from having to make a blog post everyday. This NaBloPoMo has definitely challenged me. To be honest, I don't feel like making a post today but I will because I have made it to the half way point and won't give up.)

I have stated before that I am terrified of nearly everything. This includes even the talk of ghosts. I am not necessarily even a believer of ghosts but I still get spooked by the thought of spirits roaming. Let alone have those wayward spirits haunting my home!

So would I buy my dream house? Heck, no! I would rather live in an overly expensive dump of a house than a cheap, haunted dream house. I enjoy sleep and comfort at home. I wouldn't be able to have that if ghosts lived there too!

As for me, I still believe that this progesterone sucks. I took Tylenol (since that is all I can take) to work with me today. Popping those every few hours has helped. I also asked for permission to run or work out. The nurse says it is a no go. They want me to take it easy and not elevate my body temperature or heart rate until we take a HPT next week. I guess it is for the best but the obsessive person inside is dying to run! Here in KC, the weather has been amazing running weather lately. Brisk in the morning and evenings with highs in the 60's. Perfect fall running. Not for this lady. All for the best if this works!

-Lisa-

Headaches & Favorites

I officially hate this Endometrin (progesterone suppositories)! I have had the worst headaches I have ever experienced today. It truly makes me feel like POOP! If I knew how poop felt, I imagine it would be something like how I have felt all day long. My eyeballs could have easily burst out of my eye sockets with the amount of pain I dealt with. Surprisingly enough, I didn't go off on any ill-behaved students. Although, very tempting at times.

NaBloPoMo wants me to declare a favorite pet. I have two...so one of them is getting thrown under the bus.

I know that it is horrible for a mom to play favorites. But...I am pretty sure I was Mom's favorite out of the four kids...right, Mom? Ha! So if it is bad to play favorites, then I am about to be labeled as the worst pet Mom ever! My choice is easy.

• Lola: 7 year old tabby cat. She weighs in at a whopping 15 pounds. She carries around a satchel of fat around her mid-section. She loves ME. Only me. She licks and nuzzles me. But the honest truth is that Lola is one of the meanest, vindictive cats I have known. She purposefully attacks people and other animals. She will stalk and pounce right when they are feeling safe. She bites Jeremy in his sleep. She never forgets. If you have ever wronged her in any way, she will hold that grudge against you forever. Do I love her? Yes. No one else does. In fact, Lola has quite the reputation in our family as the evil one. My 14 year old nephew is even terrified of Lola. When spending the night at our house, my nephew couldn't sleep because the evil cat snuck into the guest bedroom. True story. By the way, Lola hates our other pet, Bella, with a passion. She walks up and punches her in the face for no apparent reason.
• Bella: 4 year old beagle. She weighs in at 21 pounds. She is slim and trim for a beagle. She has the sweetest face I have ever seen. Her floppy ears drive me to cute insanity and her eyes melt my heart. She loves EVERYONE. I mean everyone. And I have never met anyone that doesn't immediately love her in return. She is always happy to see us when we get home. It doesn't matter if we were gone for 5 minutes or all day long. She wouldn't harm a fly. Even when the evil one punches her, Bella just looks at her in bewilderment. This does mean that Bella is a push over. She is scared of everything (just like her momma).

Bella

Bella

The girls...not fighting

Before Miss Bella came along

The girls begging...as usual

Lola

My Girls

So...my favorite? Do I even need to state it? Here is a hint...the most lovable one!

-Lisa-

Sweet & Sour Chicken

NaBloPoMo wants me to tell about the best meal I have ever cooked.

Let's start off by saying that my husband is well fed. He gets food cooked for him every night. That doesn't mean any of that is ever considered "good". So my best meal cooked isn't going to be that fabulous.

I am a baker. I love to bake. Ask me my best dessert and I could tell you. That is my forte.

So I asked my husband what my best meal is. He loves when I make sweet and sour chicken. It isn't store bought or frozen. I found this amazing recipe when I started Weight Watchers. It is light on the points but I must say it is pretty tasty. It takes about an hour and a half so it is not a quick meal to make but it definitely is yummy!

For the Chicken

• 3 -4 boneless skinless chicken breasts (cut into chunks)
• salt and pepper, to taste
• 1 cup cornstarch
• 2 eggs (slightly beaten)
• 1/4 cup canola oil or 1/4 cup vegetable oil

For the Sauce

• 3/4 cup sugar
• 4 tablespoons ketchup
• 1/2 cup vinegar (preferably rice or white)
• 1 tablespoon soy sauce
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder

Directions:

1. 1
   Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
2. 2
   Season chicken with salt and pepper.
3. 3
   Working in two batches, toss the chicken pieces in cornstarch and then coat with the egg.
4. 4
   Heat the oil over medium-high heat and again in two batches, brown the chicken, turning it so that all sides are browned but not cooked through.
5. 5
   Place the chicken in a single layer in a foil lined 9x13 inch baking dish.
6. 6
   Wisk together the sauce ingredients in a small bowl.
7. 7
   Pour sauce evenly over the chicken and turn the chicken to ensure each piece is coated.
8. 8
   Bake for 1 hour, turning the chicken every 15 minutes.

 

 

 

 

 

-Lisa-

Infertile Bravery

As I continue NaBloPoMo, I am going to try and stay away from the scary topic of THIS CYCLE. Any thoughts I may have come across as negative and so it is best to keep those thoughts pushed deep down. However, I have a confession. I have been googling successes of natural ovulation before trigger shots. I. NEED. TO. STOP.

The question for today is "What is the bravest thing you've ever done?"

I am not a courageous person by definition. I haven't fought off a man-eating zombie. I haven't defended my dog from a bear. I am scared of scary movies. I am scared of even talking about scary movies. If Jeremy shouts or screams out of nowhere, I jump.

I am not brave.

However, many people see what we have been going through the last three years as bravery. I don't necessarily see it that way because it is something we HAVE to deal with. We don't have a choice to choose the easy path. We have to travel down the scary, wooded path of infertility. Yes, I give myself shots. Yes, I have had more blood drained than a vampire's prey. Yes, I have been "wanded" more times than many women could imagine.

Brave? I don't think so. It is out of necessity that us infertiles forge on. If we stop being "brave", our dreams can't become reality. And that is not an option.

-Lisa-

Sweats and Sharing News

Well, we are officially in our 2ww (two week wait) now. Nothing exciting will happen in awhile. So my blog will be filled with NaBloPoMo prompts like today.

However, I do have one thought. We don't expect to have news to share in two weeks...but if we do...we probably won't share it immediately. Our families and friends read this and we don't want them to get too excited or too depressed for us. We figured we would wait to make an announcement either way. That way if it does work (big if) we can share after we know everything is going mildly okay and if it doesn't work, we can bask in our sadness before allowing others to feel bad for us. Those of you that do or do not make announcements on positive or negative results immediately, why and how did you decide? I would love to have your input to help make our decision.

Now onto the NaBloPoMo prompt...today's prompt asked "Where is your favorite place to blog?"

I prefer to have on sweats when blogging...actually, I prefer to have on sweats any time I can. But truly the sweats allow me to think. The comfiest locale is the best place to blog for me. It is sometimes sweats in a bed (preferably my own), sweats on the couch, sweats in the man cave (sometimes I am allowed), sweats outside on the deck (preferably in warmer, milder weather), or even sweats in our office. Common theme...sweats. It is like Sam I am but with sweats.

I can't sit in dress clothes (work clothes) to blog or really do anything. It as if as soon as I get home, the complete wardrobe must change. This is the same rationale with my blogging place as well.

-Lisa-

Everything a Cow Could Want

We arrived at Dr. Kim's office at 9:15am. We noticed we were one of four couples that were there for an IUI.

I am so vocal about infertility when it comes to talking about it on here, the comfort of my blog. But when I wait in Dr. Kim's office where everyone there has issues or similar issues as us, it makes me too nervous to talk. I have no idea why!

Well, today we had plenty of frustrating minutes to wait...together. So eventually the four couples moved to the same side of the waiting room and struck up conversations. At first, it was small talk: "Do you like your Kindle?" "I love your purse." "How about them Chiefs?" etc. After the boys all completed their tasks, we all went our separate ways to kill 45 minutes.

We arrived back at Dr. Kim to see the other couples all gathered to one side again. The boys talked sports, smart phone games, and hunting (this is odd considering Jeremy does hunt?). Us girls chose to share a bit of our stories. Two of the four couples were doing their first IUI. They had such hope in their eyes. They believed that this was it for them. The other couple was experiencing their third IUI. The other two worked but they miscarried.

Then there was us. I didn't want to sound too jaded of all of the screwed-upness that is our infertility life. I tried to sugar coat the craziness of the roller coaster to the hopeful newbies. I don't think I did a great job and my cynical-ness must have creeped out of my mouth somehow. You could tell in their faces that they were worried that their stories could be like ours.

Soon after those conversations, each couple was called back. I found it odd that they just lined us up room after room. The nurse literally went from room to room inseminating us all like we were heifers at Farmer Ben's farm. Jeremy and I had quite the laugh about that. I think I laughed until I cried.

On our way home, I asked Jeremy where our innocence in all this had gone...when did we change from the hopeful newbie to the skeptical pros we are now??

To be honest, I would rather be honest in our expectations than joyfully ignorant. It is better for me to know that this may not work and that is okay. The last couple times, it was a strong feeling of "this is it" and it definitely was not "it". So this time around, we know that odds are against us, especially with my natural ovulation. We are not negative though. We just know that we can't pretend that everything is going to work, not after what we have been through. We have that ounce of hope still in our back pocket and we know that God is in control.

So now I relax in my sweats for the next day. I am going into work for a half day tomorrow.

-Lisa-

God's Plan For Me

No one ever said that life was easy. I don't know why I expect this infertility chapter of our lives to be any different. One cycle may go the way it is supposed to and the next is screwy. I am used to it but it doesn't make it any easier.

I am trying to still remain positive about his IUI cycle. Yes, my body decided to be stubborn...again. But it isn't all lost. We go in tomorrow morning for the insemination. I have to still keep an ounce of hope in my back pocket. Without that small amount of positivity, this situation REALLY sucks.

I can't help but run through all of the disastrous probabilities. I couldn't take the Ovidril trigger shot last night because last time it caused OHSS. So I know that out of my 3 follicles, only 1 will ovulate since I am ovulating naturally. I am praying that it is the largest of the 3 that decide to drop. Then I also worry that we won't be able to jump right into another cycle in December because these large follicles are going to probably create cysts. Ugh! My mind won't shut up.

The only thing that gets me through this painful, defeated day is God. I know that although I am hurting and frustrated...He knows what He is doing. This is following His plan even though I don't get it quite yet. I really wish God could give us a road map of our lives. It would make this easier on me if I knew the end result.

-Lisa-

UPDATED: Babies, please! Ovulation, hold on!

I have been having constant cramping since last night. I am so uncomfortable! I can't help but have flashbacks to our IVF debacle this summer. I ovulated on my own a few hours before I was supposed to trigger. It was a disaster!

Well...
 I am feeling the same way today. I am crampy and full feeling. My mind is racing and all I see is another disaster. I plan on peeing on ovulation sticks every time I pee! I did get the go ahead to trigger tomorrow night! This means I only have to wait until tomorrow night before my mind will relax a bit. I keep telling my body "Please don't ovulate yet. Please dont ovulate yet." Hopefully, she is getting the hint.

The good news is that I have 3 follicles from 16mm-19mm. I take another Gonal F shot tonight (74iu) and then Ovidril tomorrow night. So our IUI is scheduled for Monday morning. It works out great because my students are out of school that day and Jeremy is off work for Veteran's Day. But I still can't help but be a nervous wreck. I know it must be all in my head...I am just panicked that my worst nightmare will happen...AGAIN!

Last night, Jeremy prayed that I would hand this over to God. I really need to. It is completely out of my hands. If my body wants to be stupid and stubborn, worrying about it isn't going to help any. I am going to try to relax the next 28 hours and stay as positive as I can. Wish me luck on this fete!

On another note, the NaBloPoMo prompt today is such a no-brainer! "If you could change one thing about your life right now, what would it be?"

Well, duh! I want a freaking baby! I would prefer to have a baby the way most of the population does though. I don't enjoy spending money, getting prodded with needles and wands, and the stress of infertility. I want the ease of just saying, "Hey, let's try to have a baby," and BOOM! instant pregnancy. God obviously has other plans for us, and that is fine. However, it still sucks!

-Lisa-

UPDATE @5:50: I hate my body! Why can't I catch a break?! Predictor kit tonight says ":)". Normally a smiley face means GREAT...instead it means DISASTER. I can't believe this has happened again. I have not ovulated in two months and now that we spend money on a cycle...she decides to work at the wrong time! I am so frustrated, defeated, and sad.

Dr. Milroy is the doc on call. She recommends we do the "baby dance" tonight and go in for IUI on Sunday morning instead of Monday. She wants to pretend that I took the trigger tonight. I have my doubts of this working especially considering we don't know the exact time I started the LH surge. I know it is in God's hands but it is getting harder and harder to deal with all of this.

Why is my body so screwed?!!!!! Ugh!!

Angry Woman Coming Through

I feel like I have been perpetually angry for a week now. Most times, I don't even know why. I know that it is caused by the Femara and Gonal-F, but I still feel so sensitive. It really is like I am having a constant out of body experience. I furrow my brow, the vein in my forehead pops out, and I narrow my eyes at even the slightest annoyance.

My poor students! My poor husband! They are the ones getting the wrath lately. However, I am starting to feel a bit normal as of lately but it has been a rough week to say the least.

On the IUI front, I can feel the follicles growing. I have been having lots of twinges and cramps. I also have that full feeling. I am hoping that my labs tomorrow morning come back saying we are ready for the trigger! It will be definitely disappointing if I need more shots.

I know that we are supposed to stay positive. BUT...we have decided that if this doesn't work, we will do one more IUI cycle right after this. Our deductible for insurance has been met so they are paying for more of these expenses. Our deductible starts over in January so the more we can get done in 2012, the better. Still hoping that this one is it though!

Have any of you been tested for MTHFR (sounds horrible!)? I have read a few articles on this and am wondering if I should be tested for this? And to be honest, I am still unclear of really what this is...any info would be helpful.

Trying to NOT be so angry!
-Lisa-

Lumpy, Hairy Belly

I had my CD 11 check-up today. I have 2 11mm follicles on my left and 1 13mm follicle on my right. I was shocked since I have only had two Gonal-F shots so far. I am usually in the single digits at this time in my cycle. So I was thrilled!

They are leaving my Gonal F injections as the same dosage (also a first for me!). I have had to go up to 300 iu for all of my cycles thus far. I can't believe I am responding on just 75iu. I go back in on Friday and the nurse seemed to think I might be ready to trigger Friday or Saturday evening for an IUI Sunday or Monday! Yay!!

My NaBloPoMo writing prompt today was "What is the last compliment that you received?"

I have got lots of overly nice compliments about my weight loss but those are not the last compliments. Jeremy is used to my weight loss so his compliments are a bit more...sarcastic.

Tonight as I was giving myself my shot in the belly. Jeremy said, "You have a hairy belly! You need to shave that!" To which I replied something not so kind. He recanted with "But your belly isn't nearly as lumpy as it used to be." He said this sincere even though he was being a total a**!

I gotta love him. We have a strange sarcastic relationship that not many people understand. It was a compliment to me, although he comes off as a complete jerk to all of you!

-Lisa-

Chunky Bar

Happy election day! How great is it that we have the right to vote in this country?! So many people live in worlds where they have no such right. I can't believe how many people do not exercise their right to vote! Shocking to me! Get out and vote people!

While I was at my polling location this evening, a very sweet and kind, older gentleman sat next to me. He had a king size Chunky bar next to him. It was broken in half and he ate one half. He pushed it over to me and said, "Well, little lady...you can have the rest." I politely said, "Well, thank you. Chocolate makes everything better."

Here is the chocolate in question

I quickly finished my ballot and took the Chunky bar with me. I want it known that I did not eat the Chunky bar! It was tempting, I tell you. Very rarely do I ever turn down chocolate. But the more I thought it over, the more that this seemed like the start of a bad Lifetime movie.

Old man finds naive girl in basement of church.
Old man politely gives naive girl a chocolate bar.
Naive girl takes chocolate bar.
Old man follows naive girl.
Naive girl eats chocolate.
Naive girl becomes unconscious girl.
Old man kills and dismembers unconscious girl.

(Something like that)

Well, no worries. I did not eat the chocolate. But seriously? How weird is this entire story? I have never actually taken candy from a stranger...until today.


P.S. I go in tomorrow morning for ultrasound and bloodwork. It will be CD 11.

-Lisa-

Boycotting & Shooting Myself

I am boycotting the NaBloPoMo idea for my prompt today. It asked my thoughts on the election tomorrow. I make it a habit NOT to talk politics with anyone but my husband. It always creates so many feelings. I piss someone off or they tick my off, etc. So what I will say about the election...I will be SO glad when it is over so I don't have to see commercials, get phone calls, or see gawdy signs classing up our neighborhood.

Now...I just (literally 5 minutes ago) gave myself my first stim shot this cycle. I have never used Gonal F before but used Follistim which was similar. I had no panic attacks and no qualms about doing it. I don't know if it is something I should be proud of. "Yes, I can stab myself over and over again with needles without freaking out." What a talent?!

I am getting so excited for many of blogging friends. I love hearing that retrievals are coming up, trigger shots given, or those of you that are just starting a new cycle with me. I am thinking of you all!

-Lisa-

Auntie Lisa

I am used to the term "Auntie Lisa" or "Aunt Lisa". All of my friends' babies know me (or I call myself) "Auntie Lisa". This is on top of all of our nieces and nephews who I am a legitimate aunt to.

Yesterday, I became a legitimate aunt to my 9th baby! We have a new niece, Olivia, who I am dying to meet. In fact, I am making a quick post to fulfill my NaBloPoMo requirement so we can get to the hospital to meet her! She was close to being born on my birthday which would have been exciting.

I haven't had a baby niece or nephew in FOREVER! If I don't count my gorgeous, illegitimate nieces or nephews by my friends, I haven't had a baby niece on my side of the family for 12 years! Jeremy's niece (now big sister) is 9. So this baby will be spoiled rotten!

No news to report on our cycle. I took my last of the Femara last night. I do nothing tonight. Tomorrow we have our first Gonal F injection (75iu). I am worried about not responding as fast as they need me. I am gun shy after our disastrous IVF cycle where my body did strange and unusual things. I am hoping the body doesn't try and pull those shenanigans again.

-Lisa-

Northwesternly Love

I am NaBloPoMo-in' it up again for day 2. The question for today is "If you could live anywhere, where would you live?"

Jeremy and I fell in love with the Northwest when we visited Seattle, WA in 2010. True love. We have picked out our house (one we can't afford. ever.), researched jobs, etc. It is probably the most gorgeous part of our country (although I am sure up for debate). I love the mountains, the sound, the city-life of Seattle, the food. All of the above. So, we always say we will retire to Washington/Oregan area.

So here is an awesome BEFORE picture of my weightloss! This is me in Seattle but with an extra 52+ pounds on me.

However, our families aren't there. Our friends aren't there. But when we win the lottery (first, we have to play), we will live there and fly home often. Because of course, our families will want to see our CHILDREN that we WILL have!

One more day on Femara and first stim shot is on Monday! IUI cycles go so much faster, I nearly forgot! Heck we could have our IUI as early as next Friday! However, I am a known late responder so I doubt it will be that soon.

For now, off to my birthday dinner with my hubster!

-Lisa-