Sunday, February 22, 2015

I've Become a Blog Spectator

I am not sure how this happened, but I know why.

I was an avid blog postER and now I am just a blog readER.

I hate that. But I am reading (although I do "binge reads" on two weeks of blogs). I miss actually writing and am hoping to get caught up on my spring break. I have posts in my head but no time to write. Hence, why this explanation post is short and succinct.

My life is a great big ball of stress, life, work, babies, stress, work, not babies-toddlers, work, stress, and oh did I mention work??

So...I work as a middle school teacher by day. I am teaching not one, but two, college courses this semester. Oh, and the college I am teaching at had me take a course this semester that is A LOT of work! Luckily, I just turned in my mediocre final project. Like, 3 minutes ago...

So, when I come home from work at the middle school, I play with babies, cook dinner, have chit chat with the husband. Put babies to bed, and then work on the college course or grade the college work. Oh and grade the 110 middle school essays and work that piles up.

Then, I sleep. A little bit. But sleep.

So, no time to write. Or if I have time to write, my energy is zilch and I wind up reading your posts.

Before I leave you until sometime in are the people that you want to see. The loves of my life that keep me working and going. It is all for them!


Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Thank You, Infertility!

I daydream. I always have. Sometimes Jeremy says that is me just being ridiculous and worrying about the stuff that no one worries about. Sometimes he is right. But other times my daydreaming really is valid.

I have been daydreaming about babies and pregnancy lately. Not that I want more children. I am content and happy with Max and Harper. They complete our family. I am satisfied. But what if?

What if I wanted to have children?

I feel as though infertility has robbed us from even contemplating this question.

Could we even have other children without treatments? We can't afford to spend another $20,000 for a chance at another child.

So we are not having any more children. And although I really am fine with this choice. There are things I will miss. Miss about having babies (because mine are big kids now!). Miss about being pregnant. And I can't help but blame infertility.

After all,  it was the beast of infertility that stole a normal conception and the excitement of a no worry pregnancy. I'm not bitter,  right?

I'd never ever in a million years take those little humans (that are my life) away. But our family plan has severely been raped by that infertility monster.

No more ultimate safety of babies being in me.
No more flutters in my belly.
No more kicks or stomach contortions.
No more ultrasound pictures.
No more nursery preparation.
No more pre-washing baby clothes.
No more love at first sight at a baby's birth.
No more stumbling in the night to make the bottles.
No more baby smells.
No more infant bathtubs (I loved ours!).
No more coos and first smiles.
No more first anything. (Too dramatic?)
No more growing out of newborn clothes.
No more teeny tiny diapers....and teeny tiny poops! Ha!
No more laying a baby down and the baby being there two seconds later.
No more teeny tiny clothes. Or shoes.
No more warming bottles.
No more bottles.
No more baby food.
No more feeding schedules.
No more BABIES!

It is so sad. It is sad that these two are it for me. But it is also a way. As much as I would love to relive those wonderful firsts, I know that I would miss that at any point. There's no magic number of children that would ever make me content. I'd miss those things at 3 kids, 4 kids or even 5! The truth is that my babies are NOT babies. It is just plain sad.

But because of infertility (yep!), I have my miracles. I blame infertility for a lot. It sucks. I hate it. I hate that we had to walk that path. But I also have to see that through that process and journey...I got Max and Harper.

Infertility gave me all of the above missed experiences and so much more.

We now have a lifetime of happiness ahead of us. Each day brings a first that will be added to my no more list. Whether it is Harper smiling her largest at the prompt of "cheeseburger" or the babbling conversation that happens in our car ride home when asked "How was your day?"

So instead of feeling robbed by infertility. I have chosen the mindset that God has blessed me by giving me the chance to experience motherhood via the path of infertility

As odd as it sounds...thanks infertility?


Thursday, January 1, 2015

Welcome, 2015!

Any time we start a new year, I think back to when I first started this blog. I started it as part of the new year of 2012. Now three years later, here we are. I have always made some attempt at making resolutions.

My 2014 resolutions were:
"1. Thank God everyday, even when it has been a bad day. Don't just ask for things when I need them. Praise Him.
2. Find a different profession. I need a teaching break and more time at home.
3. Get healthy. Lose weight. Run more.
4. Love more. Find time to spend with Jeremy sans babies.
5. Socialize more. I love Mommy time but need Friend time too!"

Hmmm...I didn't quite meet those but I am going to reuse most of these for 2015.

I am keeping #1. I feel like I slipped up quite a bit. I am ready to get my heart and mind focused on him. 

1) Thank God everyday. Don't just ask for things when I need them. Praise Him for what I have and be thankful.
I found a new job where I am happy. It is still a teaching job but much less stress and closer to home. I even picked up an extra teaching job at a university teaching a course for current teachers seeking a Master's in Literacy or undergraduate students seeking an education degree. It was fun! I am teaching 2 courses this semester. Best part is I work from home when the babies are in bed. 

Now that I am on thyroid meds and they finally have my levels where they should be, I am ready to lose weight. I got a FitBit for Christmas and start my diet TODAY! Here is to hoping I can lose 50 pounds in 2014. 

So...2) Lose weight. Get healthy.

I still need to find the balance of mommydom and the rest of the world. 

3) Find time to be a human. This includes socializing with friends, finding a somewhat lost relationship with my husband. 

I think these resolutions are doable. I can do this!

Here is our look back over the last year (thanks Flipagram):

God has lots of amazing things planned for us all! I wish you all a very happy 2015! I love fresh starts. I feel like it is clean slate to explore the world without a record, to love with no limits, to conquer (or fail) new adventures. I am excited! 


Sunday, December 28, 2014

Christmas And All

Time escapes me.

I make lists of how I will spend my afternoons after work, my days off, the weekend, and somehow...I never accomplish anything that I set my mind to doing. This includes blogging or heck, even logging into Blogger! Needless to say, I am in the process of reading and catching up on a month's worth of blog posts. I have only managed to read the last two weeks of blogs so far.

I am getting together all of Max and Harper's old clothing, shoes, and toys to sell in another consignment sale. I did one in August and we made some really good money. So, hoping to make even more in this February sale. The only problem is that these sales take a lot of my time and energy. I spent last Monday and Tuesday of my Christmas break gathering and tagging everything. Daycare really saved me on that! They were closed Wednesday through Friday last week so I knew being productive the rest of the week was impossible. I love those two munchkins...but I can't do anything!

Let's see...Christmas was fun. To see their faces and smiles, to hear their giggles, and to see them play was fantastic. However, two 1 1/2 year olds are exhausting. Naps were missed. Tears were shed (they cried some too), baby fights were had, and food was thrown. But we survived. One thing to be thankful for at the moment is that neither have caught the nasty influenza that seems to have infiltrated the area. Gosh! I hope we don't have to face that illness!

Here are some Christmas pictures:

Opening gifts in his SuperMan cape, of course!

She got a Frozen cape

He was loving the whole paper 

She loved strutting around showing off her presents. 

Playing in their kitchen Santa brought them

We kept our tree in our basement so they really didn't get to see it much! 

We bought a potty. This is in great hopes they may be ready soon!

Just chillin'

Loving the chair

Santa brought us Frozen! So why not eat breakfast at our new table and watch it for the first time?! We have now seen it about 5...going on 500. is this story: We lost track of  Max for a few minutes on Christmas morning. We found him behind a closed master bedroom door and then behind a closed master bathroom door. He was taking baby powder from under the sink and shaking it all over his head. 

I wish I got a better picture of  his dapper outfit that day!

Baby cousins are so much fun!

I love this picture of reading time before bed! It is one of my favorites we have ever captured.

Waiting to see Santa

They were so happy...

Until we set them on the big guy's lap!! (This picture is priceless!)

Really great family picture...

A tad better! All in our corny matchy-matchy KC shirts!

Although, sitting here Sunday night after a crazy last 5 is easy to say that this Christmas was a crazy and stressful one. It really is a blessed time to realize that our dream of being parents at Christmas time has come true. I have felt overwhelmed and like an angry mom lately. But I just need to stop and enjoy this time. Yes, they are crazy little humans. But these crazy little humans will only be this little and this crazy for this short amount of time.

I am working on a couple other posts so hopefully I will get those marked off my list this week. I go back to work Friday...we will see!

I hope you had a very happy holiday spent with those that love you and that you love.


Saturday, November 29, 2014


This one is all about my Harps! In case you missed the post on her ornery brother, Max, here it is.

Harper is the sweet and sassy girl to a T. She is a girly girl who loves to sing and dance. She is often found sashaying around the house. (No, really. She doesn't walk...she struts. It's hilarious!) She smiles to get out of nearly everything. And because she is so stinkin' almost always works! Stinker! 

She is the free spirit. She will often sing and talk to herself. (I posted a video below.) Harper marches to the beat of her own drum. She flirts and talks to everyone she meets. She is not shy and doesn't know a stranger. If you feel slighted by her brother's standoffish personality, she makes up for it with hugs, snuggles and kisses. 

She is not a dare devil. But she is a talker. She talks up a storm. Harper can repeat anything we ask her to say. She may not know what she is saying yet but she can say it. However, we have been super impressed with her verbal communication. She knows most animals and animal sounds. She can name and point to main body parts (eyes, nose, ears, mouth, teeth, tongue, toes, feet, arm, hand, fingers, hair, belly button). She is getting pretty good at her colors too. I am amazed on how much she is learning. 

We were out Black Friday shopping (but much later in the day) and I told Harper that she was "so pretty". She said "Harper's pretty" as clear as anything. It cracked me up. 

We were waiting to see Max's doctor for his ears a couple weeks ago. There was a picture of a fish and she started making fish sounds. Then reading a book about an elephant, she acted out the elephant's trunk while trumpeting like one. I am in awe of our smart girl!

Some of Harper's favorite things:

  • Sitting on anyone's lap...she will just back herself up into your lap and plop down
  • Dancing to Disney Jr songs when they come on
  • Nonnie--her grandma
  • Saying animal sounds---her favorite is "Meow"
  • Coloring
  • Destroying paper
  • Pizza
  • Hot dogs
  • Bath time
  • Putting her coat/jacket on---but don't try to take it off. Geez!
  • Uh-oh
  • Throwing food down for Bella
  • Throwing toys over the baby gates and into the kitchen
  • Running---all while twisting her hips as she does
  • Being chased--"Harper I am going to get you" sends her into a giggling fit
  • Painting
  • Brushing her teeth
  • Playing bubble pop on the tablet
  • Her Minnie Mouse doll--she says "Meeennnneeeee"
  • Waking up in the morning---she is always her happiest
  • Putting shoes on
  • Reading books---to herself or getting read to
  • Wheels on the Bus
  • Looking at picture albums
  • Cheez Its
  • Cookies---anything sweet. She has a sweet tooth and loves it all!
  • Taking her socks off and losing them around the house
  • Pigtails (She looks adorable!)
  • Being wrapped up in her bath towel
  • Wearing scarfs or even blankets around her head
  • Carrying her purse around
  • Hugging her brother
This girl loves everything so it was hard to think of things she DOES NOT like. 

Harper is a good little eater. The only thing she now won't touch is bananas and she used to love them. She can put away meatballs and spaghetti like it is her job. She is smaller than Max by height and weight. 

She is also teething again and those top molars are no fun. She handles it better than her brother but she is definitely uncomfortable. 

Harper's hair is growing like crazy. She won't leave barrettes in so we usually have wild and crazy hair or in ponytails. 

Girl loves her accessories!

Loving on her brother



Friday, November 28, 2014

Game 7

I know that I posted about our excitement of the World Series last month. Then I never shared my time at the World Series!!!!

Oh, yeah. That time I went to Game 7 of the World Series!

Where MY team was playing.

Even though my Royals lost Game 7. It was an amazing experience that I got to experience with my husband.

My husband happened to tweet about the Series. And then like magic (or luck) Mastercard messaged him about #pricelessmoments and we won Game 7 World Series tickets.

It. Was. Amazing!!!!!!!!



There is just too much to possibly update. I felt like if I was forced to give each baby kid their own post, I would focus on showcasing who they really are and what they have been up to.

So...up first by birth order (11 minutes that I am sure he will hold over his sister's head at some point)...Max!

Maxwell is a rough and tumble boy for sure! He climbs. Stairs, couch, coffee table, TV stand, crib, toys, baby gate, people...anything is fair game. He will literally stack things upon things just to climb them. This has presented quite a challenge to our baby proofing. We contemplated getting rid of all furniture in our living room at one point. He was standing on top of the end table hanging from our living room curtains. I was literally looking away for 60 seconds. That's all it took for him. He thought it was the best time of his life.

That's another thing...his giggle is the cutest. More than his giggle, though, are his facial expressions. His face tells it all. When he is doing something he shouldn't, his face is mischevious. My favorite Max face is when he is confused or asking if something is hot. Gosh it melts me everytime!

Max also is the best at giving kisses. His sweet pucker makes every friend or family member giddy. This is because Max is a picky guy. He takes awhile to warm up to people. He may hide his head in our legs for the first few minutes. Then, he will sternly tell people "no" if they even remotely look like they are interested in talking to him. (This is usually accompanied with him swatting hands or even air away.)

He is emotional. He is sensitive. He loves his mommy. (And I love that!)

Some of Max's favorite things:

  • Books--the boy will sit in your lap and read for hours
  • Itsy Bitsy Spider--he loves the hand motions
  • Saying "Don't touch" to anything and everything he knows he should not touch. But he says this while touching the said item
  • Climbing--see above
  • Grampa--he is obsessed with my dad
  • Bella--or any dog but especially HIS "Dog-dog"
  • Coloring
  • Playing outside
  • Saying his name "Maxxxxxxx"
  • Destroying paper
  • His belly button
  • His sister's belly button
  • His mom's belly button
  • Ok...belly buttons
  • Pizza
  • Hot dogs
  • Bath time
  • Putting his coat/jacket on
  • Uh-oh
  • Throwing anything and everything
  • Naming his body parts
  • Meow
  • Biting his sister whenever she ticks him off (getting better but still does it!)
  • Running
  • Being chased
  • Lights
  • Painting
  • Giving night-night kisses
  • Playing bubble pop on the tablet
  • Building blocks
  • His paci---yep he is still hooked on this thing but only at nap times, bed time, or in the car. Will he ever give it up??
  • Putting shoes on
  • Cleaning up--he loves to put toys and books back where they go
  • Following commands--he loves when we give him a job "Take this to Dad" or "Throw this away" "Put your clothes in the hamper"
  • Wheels on the Bus
  • Cars
  • Maw maw and Paw paw's cat

I am sure there are many other things in Max's list of favorites. 

Max and Harper both had their tubes placed in July. Harper has had no issues. But poor Maxy has struggled with ear infections still. We finally just had to take him into see the ENT again. They sucked out his ears with a vacuum thing. They also placed a small ear wick. He is nearing the end of his 14 days of ear drops. Then, we take him back in on Wednesday to get the wick removed. I am hoping this makes it all better for the little man. 

Max is still taller and bigger than his sister. However, I don't know exact information and probably won't until our next appointment in January. 

He is teething again. His top molars are coming in. Poor little man has been miserable the last couple days. I think we are on the tail end of this round...hopefully!

Max is up to three haircuts now. He even had his "Uncle" Toby cut his hair at a real barber shop. Max broke his Aunt Carrie's heart but Dad wanted to take his boy to the barber. Toby is married to one of my long time best friends. He did great!

Not a fan of timeout??

Head first down the slide!

I just love my boy! He brings so many laughs to our family. 

Now...for me to get Harper's post ready! (She is pretty special too!)