Showing posts with label 2012. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2012. Show all posts

Thursday, June 27, 2013

One Year

You hear the saying "What a difference a year makes?!"

Well, it is SO true!

Last night, Jeremy and I were daydreaming about meeting our babes. We get super excited when we think about what they will look like, what they will want to do in life, what activities they will participate in, and how much they will love each other and us. In our daydreams, we also realized where we were nearly exactly a year ago.

We lost our IVF chance on June 22, is the heartbreaking blog post: Click here. Then on this very day (June 27) I wrote about suffering with OHSS: Click here. What's crazy is that I spent most of June taking it easy and staying on couch forward to June 2013 and I have spent most of it on bed rest.

The only difference is that now we are awaiting our precious miracles arrival. What a difference a year makes?!

It really starts to put God's plan for us in perspective. Last year at this time, I was so disappointed. I thought that God had His plan for us all wrong. I couldn't believe that we weren't meant to be parents. I felt guilty for not allowing Jeremy be a dad. I was in a place of defeat.

But God didn't forget us. He had a plan for us all along. And now God has blessed us beyond our wildest dreams with a precious little boy and beautiful little girl. Now...if only He could speed up this process so we can finally meet them in person!!

Update: At my doctor's appointment yesterday, I found out I am progressing. But still no labor! I am nearly 4cm, 90% effaced, and at a -2 station. Many women are in labor at this point...but not me! My doctor said it could be days or...WEEKS! I am so excited to meet them I can hardly stand it. The latest that I will have to wait is around July 17 when I will be induced. I am hoping they decide to come on their own before that though. There are so many people that love these babies already and they are also so anxious to meet them.

Good things come to those who wait! We waited four years for these babies...I think we can wait a few more weeks if we have to!


Monday, December 31, 2012

Welcome 2013! I can't wait!

I have officially had this blog for a year! Last year, I wrote about my 2012 resolutions. Here was my list last year:
1. Let God's will be, I can't plan or control my life because it is HIS to control
2. Keep praying for our family but not obsess over it because it is for HIS divine purpose
3. Let stress and anxiety roll off my back
4. Love my family, husband, and friends more (I feel I have neglected them in my depression state)
5. Yes, LOSE WEIGHT. It needs to happen. I am hoping I don't give up one month in

As I look back on my 2012 (which has literally flown by!), I can see God's plan in place for us. Going through infertility and being in the trenches, it is so easy to place blame and be bitter. I was. But His plan only makes sense after something in our lives works out. We don't always see the purpose of losing our job or being turned down for an interview until we see the greatness that came from it. The same holds true for our infertility this year.
I didn't meet all of my resolutions for 2012. I did lose 56 pounds. Woo-hoo! I found a closer relationship with God and we found our church home. I did love more and stress less. I prayed for our family non-stop. The one thing I know I still need to work on is letting God's will be. It is hard for me to not plan my entire life; I am a planner and I have a problem giving up full control.
To think that at this time next year, we will have two adorable babies in our arms, makes my life feel complete. However, if I don't continue to grow as a person and as a believer, it will all be for not. So here is my new list of resolutions for 2013:
1. Keep praying to God and praising His name. If not for Him, we wouldn't have these two amazing miracles growing inside me.
2. Be a great Mom.
3. Serve God in all aspects of my life.
4. Be healthy and stay healthy for myself and my family.
This is a quote from my blog post back on December 31, 2011:
"Therefore, I am changing my view of infertility. I am not going to let the enemy convince me that it is something that has happened to me because God is angry with me or that He has forgotten me. Infertility has a purpose."
I pray that each of you can find your own peace with the cards that we are dealt. It is so easy to become bitter and angry. I was. But everything has a purpose. Sometimes we will only know the purpose by going through the crap and the muck. I pray that in 2013 you are able to enjoy life and hopefully your dreams and prayers are answered.