Roller Coasters Have Dips Too!

One thing I wanted to do when I started this blog was to be real and honest...both with myself and anyone who read my posts. I realized that there was a  huge risk for me by doing this. I would share defeats and successes. People that read this blog got to see how there are so many ups and downs when going through something like this. Every couple that goes through fertility treatments experiences something like we have.  Sometimes the highs and lows come in one day or one hour on the infertility journey! I have heard of positive pregnancy tests in the morning that end with chemical pregnancy in the evening. You never know what comes next...

First of all, before I continue, I know that God loves us. I know that He knows what He is doing with our lives. There is no doubt in that. With that being said, today was filled with extreme highs and heartbreaking lows.

The previous post highlighted the highest of high. I know that God showed me today's miracle to re-strengthen my faith in Him and His plan. I needed to see hope when all else seemed hopeless. He knew that. He also knew that it wasn't meant to be.

In IVF, everything is planned out to a "T." My doctor couldn't plan everything out because my body reacted in a way that wasn't expected or heard of. While anxiously waiting to take my HcG trigger shot tonight, my body began to ovulate on its own. With this happening, we are unable to correctly plan for an egg retrieval. Therefore, we are officially cancelled. For real this time.

This is a tough time for Jeremy and I. We so much appreciate the love, prayers, support, and friendship that all of you have shown. We are both in a bit of mourning now. Mourning the loss of an opportunity more than anything. But we will be fine.

One thing I don't want is for you to feel uncomfortable by reading so much about our life. We have chosen to speak out when so many suffer in silence. God's plan is in full effect. We don't understand why or how He operates but we don't need to. We just need to have faith that He will create more miracles for us.

Dr. Kim called me at 11pm tonight and sounded upset himself. "Lisa, you tried so hard. You really did. We wanted it to work so badly. We will try again and have success."

So we are praying to heal our hearts and focus our minds on the next step...all the while waiting for God's Will to be shown.

-Lisa-