I am getting excited!!!

I love that so many of my pregnant bloggers are so organized. That is SO NOT ME! They have gorgeous belly pics and wonderful weekly updates. I am so disorganized and scatter-brained (especially as of lately) that I probably will never make those wonderfully informative posts.

However, here is a 13w5d belly pic. Morning sickness has nearly all subsided. I don't sleep well at all but it will all be worth it. I have some pretty gnarly side cramps but nothing I can't handle. The time seems to be creep by and I just want those babies to be here already!

I had my very first perinatal specialist appointment today. After an hour wait(!!!), we finally got to meet Dr. Finley. We had a 30 minute ultrasound. It was amazing!! I can't believe how much they have grown since we saw them 5 weeks ago. They really look like babies now. They were jumping and flipping around making it difficult for the doctor to get measurements. Even though we didn't do the Down's syndrome screening, he measured the fold of their neck. They were perfectly perfect. Heart rates were 163 and 156. They measured ahead at 14w1d even though I am 13w5d today. Baby A had his hand around his face and in his mouth. Even the creepy face shot that looked like an alien was too cute to me. I go back to the perinatal doctor February 27 to see if we can find out the genders!! I thought I was going to have to wait longer, so I am SO excited! I am so ready to be their mom! Here are some new pictures.

I also get a FREE (yes, FREE!) ultrasound next Friday. The Lord provides ways to ease my stress and anxiety from last week. A friend turned me onto some ultrasound training going on. They were looking for pregnant women 6-22 weeks to "practice" on. They were super excited to hear that I have twins. In fact, they are bringing in more people to watch the ultrasound to learn. Bonus...I get to see them again!

-Lisa-

Their First 5k

Baby A & Baby B participated in their first 5k today!! I am sure they were just rolling around, enjoying the ride in there.

I took it easy on them though. I didn't really run. My sister (also her first 5k) and I just power walked for the most part. When we saw the finish line, we jogged the rest of the way. Either to feel like we finished strong or because we wanted to pass the older gentleman in front of us. We walked the 5k in 44 or so minutes. Not bad considering my first ever 5k that I actually "tried" running was 37 minutes!!

It was a lot of fun and I am sure babies had fun too! We signed up for this race awhile back and I am just glad we were still able to do it.



My sister, Me, Babies



 

 

I am feeling much better nowadays. Morning sickness isn't every day and in fact I have had a few days now where I haven't had it at all. I am still exhausted with no energy but feeling a bit normal. I have a lot of round ligament pain on my right side. I know that is just a sign that my body is stretching even more to accommodate the little beans. I am up about 12 pounds which is right on track for being 13 weeks pregnant with twinsies.

I appreciate all of the comments on the ultrasound situation. I realize that I am just being crazy but I can't help but be overprotective over them. I love them SO much already and just want them to be healthy and growing on track. We did find a private ultrasound place that would do one if we paid out of pocket so if I get desperate enough...that is where we are headed.

-Lisa-

I Feel Like...

First of all, I feel like I am getting the shaft when it comes to ultrasounds. When I was with my RE, Dr. Kim, I had an ultrasound every week. I haven't seen MY BABIES for four weeks! I have heard heartbeats a couple of times, but not SEEN them. And I won't see them until our 20 week gender scan in...wait for it...7 more weeks!

I know that twins nowadays are more normal than they used to be. I know that I am not necessarily "high risk" but I just feel like I am being treated like a regular pregnancy so far. Maybe that is how it should be...I don't know. I am new at this whole pregnant thing. I have appointments every four weeks until we hit 20 weeks. Then the plan is to have appointments every two weeks.

So my question to you guys (the wiser ones), is this normal?? Am I just worried for nothing? I know I got spoiled with Dr. Kim but I just feel like I should see them on the screen. By the time 20 weeks hits, I won't have seen them for nearly 12 weeks!! That is insane!

I have questioned them multiple times but they said since they can find the two heartbeats and they are healthy heartbeats that I don't need an ultrasound. But I want one!

We turned down the NT scan. I know we could have seen them then but it really isn't as accurate with twins and to be honest, it doesn't matter to us. We aren't going to terminate the pregnancy so we are fine with that choice.

So, sorry for the rant. But I am concerned that I am not seeing them as much as I should. So please let me know if this is normal or not.

-Lisa-

Welcome ICLW!

I am so glad to get back into ICLW. I took the month of December off so I could have a break during the holidays and also didn't want to spill my news too early.

You are welcome to look through my TTC Timeline. We received the best news EVER around Thanksgiving. Our IUI #2 worked. We then found out in December that we were having TWINS. I am now 12w2d.

I thought that once I got pregnant, I would be able to relax. SO, not the case. I have been a nervous wreck since finding out about the twins. I just pray non-stop that they both decide to hang around for at least 24 more weeks or so.

Our journey seems to be changing over to parenthood and I struggle with making this change. We have TTC for 3.5 years and that has been our life. We are so excited about this next chapter of infertility but it is uncharted territory for us.

So, welcome! Ask questions, leave comments, and I look forward to following some all new blogs in the process.

-Lisa-

Dazed & Confused @ 11 weeks

Happy Friday, everyone!

I have tried to write a post for over a week and just now getting around to it. I am struggling with this new role as "pregnant infertile". I don't quite know how to deal with living a double life which also means I don't know what to write about.

Nearly my entire marriage has been about trying to get pregnant. It became my identity. Now, although I am ecstatic, I don't know where or how I fit that role anymore. It is a strange but also a glorious place to be in.

I feel as if I have not allowed myself to feel excited yet. Being the infertile skeptic, I am waiting for the bad news to come. Every pinch, tweak, cramp, symptom disappearing, headache, makes me think it is all over. It is exhausting! I don't sleep because when I do I dream about horrible results of this pregnancy. I am truly a basket case.

I was supposed to have my new OB appointment today. I got a call this morning that the nurse practitioner was sick and so I had to reschedule for Wednesday. This panicked me. I begged and cried to just see someone, anyone today. I just wanted to make sure the babies were still doing well. One of the doctors had an opening so I took it.

It wasn't a "real" appointment. They used the doppler to make sure everything sounded good. Both babies are still there and moving like crazy. The heartbeats were 174 and 170. She said they kept moving around so she had to keep moving the doppler. I was so relieved.

The bad news is that I am spilling too much protein in my urine. I have to admit that I haven't really been eating as much I should. I am just not hungry but I have to start forcing myself. I have gained 7.5 pounds and they want me around 11 pounds by now. So my goal is to try and feed my face as much as possible.

I started showing a bit last week. This week, I am having a hard time covering up my bump. I keep waiting for one of my overzealous 7th graders to shout out that I have got fat or something. So far, they don't seem to notice. One girl did ask why I have been wearing jackets everyday. She accepted the simple "I am cold" response and moved on. I am not brave enough to post my growing mid section for the world to see. Maybe when I look clearly pregnant and not like I ate too much McDonalds, I will post something.

Hopefully I will have some new pictures of the beans on Wednesday to post here! Have a great weekend!

-Lisa-

Happy 2013!!

I have been working on this infertility journey video for months. I stopped working on it because I hated that we didn't have a happy ending yet. So shortly after finding out about the twins, I finished it. Here it is:

Welcome 2013! I can't wait!

I have officially had this blog for a year! Last year, I wrote about my 2012 resolutions. Here was my list last year:

1. Let God's will be, I can't plan or control my life because it is HIS to control
2. Keep praying for our family but not obsess over it because it is for HIS divine purpose
3. Let stress and anxiety roll off my back
4. Love my family, husband, and friends more (I feel I have neglected them in my depression state)
5. Yes, LOSE WEIGHT. It needs to happen. I am hoping I don't give up one month in



 

 

As I look back on my 2012 (which has literally flown by!), I can see God's plan in place for us. Going through infertility and being in the trenches, it is so easy to place blame and be bitter. I was. But His plan only makes sense after something in our lives works out. We don't always see the purpose of losing our job or being turned down for an interview until we see the greatness that came from it. The same holds true for our infertility this year.

 

I didn't meet all of my resolutions for 2012. I did lose 56 pounds. Woo-hoo! I found a closer relationship with God and we found our church home. I did love more and stress less. I prayed for our family non-stop. The one thing I know I still need to work on is letting God's will be. It is hard for me to not plan my entire life; I am a planner and I have a problem giving up full control.

 

To think that at this time next year, we will have two adorable babies in our arms, makes my life feel complete. However, if I don't continue to grow as a person and as a believer, it will all be for not. So here is my new list of resolutions for 2013:

 

1. Keep praying to God and praising His name. If not for Him, we wouldn't have these two amazing miracles growing inside me.

2. Be a great Mom.

3. Serve God in all aspects of my life.

4. Be healthy and stay healthy for myself and my family.

 

 

This is a quote from my blog post back on December 31, 2011:

"Therefore, I am changing my view of infertility. I am not going to let the enemy convince me that it is something that has happened to me because God is angry with me or that He has forgotten me. Infertility has a purpose."

 

I pray that each of you can find your own peace with the cards that we are dealt. It is so easy to become bitter and angry. I was. But everything has a purpose. Sometimes we will only know the purpose by going through the crap and the muck. I pray that in 2013 you are able to enjoy life and hopefully your dreams and prayers are answered.

 

-Lisa-