US + Vegas = New Perspective

Most people wouldn't consider Las Vegas a good place to clear your head and relax. But in our case, it was a trip that we desperately needed to take. They had record breaking heat in Vegas as well as rain which they haven't had in months. It didn't matter, we still had a blast!

New York New York (Our Hotel)

At Hoover Dam



I love this man so much!

Here is what Vegas has done for us:
1. Allowed us to focus on us instead of babies and fertility
2. Allowed us to relax
3. Allowed us to communicate how each of us felt about the IVF failure
4. Allowed us to have fun
5. Allowed us to strengthen our relationship
6. Allowed us to refocus our energy and get a new perspective

We really do love each other. I knew that I loved Jeremy. I even knew that he loved me. But there was always that fear that he will reject me if I can't give him a child but I know now that he loves me for me and not for the possible family I can give him. We talked a lot about the next step for us and we are pleasantly undecided.

We want to take some time for us. Dr. Kim encouraged us to take time as well. We have been through a lot and neither of us are emotionally ready for continuing the craziness. So at the doctor appointment today, we decided to do nothing. Yep, nothing. No treatments. No shots. No worries. No doctors. No ultrasounds. No pills. And hopefully no stress.

We are going to enjoy married life for awhile and talked about doing IVF again next spring when I won't be at the beginning of a school year (which, sadly, is quickly approaching). There are many benefits of life without children for us right now. Unlike our friends, we can do whatever we want, whenever we want, without worrying about a babysitter. We can pick up and go to Vegas on a week's notice. We can sleep in. We can nap in the middle of the day. Now we can enjoy the bliss of life without children.

Don't get me wrong...we cannot wait for the day when we can hold our babies. But for now, we are happy with where we are at. We know that God is in control and so we are going to try our best to be PATIENT. Something I haven't mastered yet but will continue to try without getting frustrated.

Here is yet another Youtube video that touched me. It is by a blogger who has decided to re-focus her infertility into something positive. I am striving to do the same.

-Lisa-