{Semi} Wordless Wednesday

I am hoping for another real post tomorrow. Spring Break is flying by! So here are some pics of the twosome.

St. Patty's Day

Harper got to have a day with Mommy all to herself!

Harper's 1st haircut

Sweet baby

Snake Saturday Parade. He loved seeing firetrucks!

So much fun!

Dump truckin'

Enjoying the crazy nice February weather

Golf lesson

Park time!

I know my expression is ridiculous.
So is Harper's slide form here.

Big kids

Remote CONTROL

1st baseball cards

He is hooked

Our first stomach bug

She got it too!

We will "talk" soon!
-Lisa-

I've Become a Blog Spectator

I am not sure how this happened, but I know why.


I was an avid blog postER and now I am just a blog readER.


I hate that. But I am reading (although I do "binge reads" on two weeks of blogs). I miss actually writing and am hoping to get caught up on my spring break. I have posts in my head but no time to write. Hence, why this explanation post is short and succinct.


My life is a great big ball of stress, life, work, babies, stress, work, not babies-toddlers, work, stress, and oh did I mention work??


So...I work as a middle school teacher by day. I am teaching not one, but two, college courses this semester. Oh, and the college I am teaching at had me take a course this semester that is A LOT of work! Luckily, I just turned in my mediocre final project. Like, 3 minutes ago...


So, when I come home from work at the middle school, I play with babies, cook dinner, have chit chat with the husband. Put babies to bed, and then work on the college course or grade the college work. Oh and grade the 110 middle school essays and work that piles up.


Then, I sleep. A little bit. But sleep.


So, no time to write. Or if I have time to write, my energy is zilch and I wind up reading your posts.


Before I leave you until sometime in March...here are the people that you want to see. The loves of my life that keep me working and going. It is all for them!

-Lisa-

Thank You, Infertility!

I daydream. I always have. Sometimes Jeremy says that is me just being ridiculous and worrying about the stuff that no one worries about. Sometimes he is right. But other times my daydreaming really is valid.

I have been daydreaming about babies and pregnancy lately. Not that I want more children. I am content and happy with Max and Harper. They complete our family. I am satisfied. But what if?

What if I wanted to have children?

I feel as though infertility has robbed us from even contemplating this question.

Could we even have other children without treatments? We can't afford to spend another $20,000 for a chance at another child.

So we are not having any more children. And although I really am fine with this choice. There are things I will miss. Miss about having babies (because mine are big kids now!). Miss about being pregnant. And I can't help but blame infertility.

After all,  it was the beast of infertility that stole a normal conception and the excitement of a no worry pregnancy. I'm not bitter,  right?

I'd never ever in a million years take those little humans (that are my life) away. But our family plan has severely been raped by that infertility monster.



No more ultimate safety of babies being in me.
No more flutters in my belly.
No more kicks or stomach contortions.
No more ultrasound pictures.
No more nursery preparation.
No more pre-washing baby clothes.
No more love at first sight at a baby's birth.
No more stumbling in the night to make the bottles.
No more baby smells.
No more infant bathtubs (I loved ours!).
No more coos and first smiles.
No more first anything. (Too dramatic?)
No more growing out of newborn clothes.
No more teeny tiny diapers....and teeny tiny poops! Ha!
No more laying a baby down and the baby being there two seconds later.
No more teeny tiny clothes. Or shoes.
No more warming bottles.
No more bottles.
No more baby food.
No more feeding schedules.
No more BABIES!


It is so sad. It is sad that these two are it for me. But it is also rewarding...in a way. As much as I would love to relive those wonderful firsts, I know that I would miss that at any point. There's no magic number of children that would ever make me content. I'd miss those things at 3 kids, 4 kids or even 5! The truth is that my babies are NOT babies. It is just plain sad.


But because of infertility (yep!), I have my miracles. I blame infertility for a lot. It sucks. I hate it. I hate that we had to walk that path. But I also have to see that through that process and journey...I got Max and Harper.


Infertility gave me all of the above missed experiences and so much more.


We now have a lifetime of happiness ahead of us. Each day brings a first that will be added to my no more list. Whether it is Harper smiling her largest at the prompt of "cheeseburger" or the babbling conversation that happens in our car ride home when asked "How was your day?"


So instead of feeling robbed by infertility. I have chosen the mindset that God has blessed me by giving me the chance to experience motherhood via the path of infertility


As odd as it sounds...thanks infertility?


-Lisa-

Welcome, 2015!

Any time we start a new year, I think back to when I first started this blog. I started it as part of the new year of 2012. Now three years later, here we are. I have always made some attempt at making resolutions.

My 2014 resolutions were:
"1. Thank God everyday, even when it has been a bad day. Don't just ask for things when I need them. Praise Him.
2. Find a different profession. I need a teaching break and more time at home.
3. Get healthy. Lose weight. Run more.
4. Love more. Find time to spend with Jeremy sans babies.
5. Socialize more. I love Mommy time but need Friend time too!"

Hmmm...I didn't quite meet those but I am going to reuse most of these for 2015.

I am keeping #1. I feel like I slipped up quite a bit. I am ready to get my heart and mind focused on him. 

1) Thank God everyday. Don't just ask for things when I need them. Praise Him for what I have and be thankful.

I found a new job where I am happy. It is still a teaching job but much less stress and closer to home. I even picked up an extra teaching job at a university teaching a course for current teachers seeking a Master's in Literacy or undergraduate students seeking an education degree. It was fun! I am teaching 2 courses this semester. Best part is I work from home when the babies are in bed. 

Now that I am on thyroid meds and they finally have my levels where they should be, I am ready to lose weight. I got a FitBit for Christmas and start my diet TODAY! Here is to hoping I can lose 50 pounds in 2014. 

So...2) Lose weight. Get healthy.

I still need to find the balance of mommydom and the rest of the world. 

3) Find time to be a human. This includes socializing with friends, finding a somewhat lost relationship with my husband. 

I think these resolutions are doable. I can do this!

Here is our look back over the last year (thanks Flipagram):

God has lots of amazing things planned for us all! I wish you all a very happy 2015! I love fresh starts. I feel like it is clean slate to explore the world without a record, to love with no limits, to conquer (or fail) new adventures. I am excited! 

-Lisa-

Christmas And All

Time escapes me.

I make lists of how I will spend my afternoons after work, my days off, the weekend, and somehow...I never accomplish anything that I set my mind to doing. This includes blogging or heck, even logging into Blogger! Needless to say, I am in the process of reading and catching up on a month's worth of blog posts. I have only managed to read the last two weeks of blogs so far.

I am getting together all of Max and Harper's old clothing, shoes, and toys to sell in another consignment sale. I did one in August and we made some really good money. So, hoping to make even more in this February sale. The only problem is that these sales take a lot of my time and energy. I spent last Monday and Tuesday of my Christmas break gathering and tagging everything. Daycare really saved me on that! They were closed Wednesday through Friday last week so I knew being productive the rest of the week was impossible. I love those two munchkins...but I can't do anything!

Let's see...Christmas was fun. To see their faces and smiles, to hear their giggles, and to see them play was fantastic. However, two 1 1/2 year olds are exhausting. Naps were missed. Tears were shed (they cried some too), baby fights were had, and food was thrown. But we survived. One thing to be thankful for at the moment is that neither have caught the nasty influenza that seems to have infiltrated the area. Gosh! I hope we don't have to face that illness!

Here are some Christmas pictures:

Opening gifts in his SuperMan cape, of course!

She got a Frozen cape

He was loving the whole paper 

She loved strutting around showing off her presents. 

Playing in their kitchen Santa brought them

We kept our tree in our basement so they really didn't get to see it much! 

We bought a potty. This is in great hopes they may be ready soon!

Just chillin'

Loving the chair

Santa brought us Frozen! So why not eat breakfast at our new table and watch it for the first time?! We have now seen it about 5...going on 500.

So...here is this story: We lost track of  Max for a few minutes on Christmas morning. We found him behind a closed master bedroom door and then behind a closed master bathroom door. He was taking baby powder from under the sink and shaking it all over his head. 

I wish I got a better picture of  his dapper outfit that day!

Baby cousins are so much fun!

I love this picture of reading time before bed! It is one of my favorites we have ever captured.

Waiting to see Santa

They were so happy...

Until we set them on the big guy's lap!! (This picture is priceless!)

Really great family picture...

A tad better! All in our corny matchy-matchy KC shirts!

Although, sitting here Sunday night after a crazy last 5 days...it is easy to say that this Christmas was a crazy and stressful one. It really is a blessed time to realize that our dream of being parents at Christmas time has come true. I have felt overwhelmed and like an angry mom lately. But I just need to stop and enjoy this time. Yes, they are crazy little humans. But these crazy little humans will only be this little and this crazy for this short amount of time.

I am working on a couple other posts so hopefully I will get those marked off my list this week. I go back to work Friday...we will see!

I hope you had a very happy holiday spent with those that love you and that you love.

-Lisa-