Adoption? Eh?

Jeremy and I are often confronted with other people's views of our little "situation." They mean well. At least I like to think that they mean well. They have advice (although we are aware of how to make a baby), they have diets, they make attempts to help us/guide us. But truth be told...it only comes across as pity/belittling and just down right ticks us off!!

"Oh, really? You had problems getting pregnant too? Only 1 month of Clomid, huh? Wow!"

I really want to JUDGE THEM and tell them that one month on Clomid is hardly infertility! But I don't. I keep those judgmental and harsh opinions to myself.

But in all honesty...we know our family and friends mean well. It's the strangers that irk me. I just met you...I don't want to know how you got pregnant and who you saw. Can you imagine the insanity if everyone just talked to strangers about the way they conceived their children? And the audacity of asking others how they conceived their children?

As crazy as those conversations sound...they really happen. Infertility has made this OK. And is it a double standard that I find it socially acceptable for my IF bloggers to give me advice but I refuse to listen to a single word from the 1 month on Clomid gal? Probably. I am bitter.

"Deal with it, Clomid girl. Try spending $14,000 and giving yourself a bazillion shots!" (For the record, I am NOT this mean. I would never discount others "struggles" even though I see one month as a minor hiccup in the world of IF. It is my bitter opinion. Good for them! I wish it was over for us in months, instead of three years.)

[I feel like I need to stop this rant here and really start writing what I wanted to write today.]

One of the many pieces of advice that people offer to us is the idea of adoption. Adoption is a fabulous thing. I am so glad that there are women brave enough to realize that they cannot give their baby the best life. Those women (and men) should be honored. Their unselfish reasoning leads to so many childless couples completing their families. God bless them!

I often ask friends who have adopted how they came to that decision. How will we know if that is the avenue we take? I can tell you that we aren't there yet. Yes, it is a viable option for us possibly down the road. Right now...we are still wanting our own child. I don't want to be made to feel guilty about that. So many couples don't ever HAVE to make that decision because they have babies that carry their DNA. Jeremy and I are not ready to give up our dream of having our own babies. However, who is to say the plan God has for us? If we come to that bridge, we have no problem crossing it.

We know that the adoption decision is a big one. We don't want to feel pressured into adoption just because we can't have kids. We want to choose adoption because we want to adopt. Right now, neither of us wants to adopt. Give us a few months...we may change our minds. We change our minds often. Heck, we didn't want to do IVF...but we tried...look where that got us?!

So for now...we are not considering adoption and going to continue down this fertility treatment/au natural road. We are still "breaking it up" until May but deep in our hearts praying that this natural supplement route works the best for us.

Also, I didn't mean to discourage advice. We really do know that all of you are supportive...yes, even the strangers that offer their unnecessary advice. We know that everyone means well. Infertility makes me more sensitive than normal...which occasionally makes me accidentally offend others with my brash rants (like this one). Believe me...it is just a rant...

-Lisa-