Join the Movement

Happy National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW)!

I have been thinking about my 'Join the Movement' post for a couple of weeks. I have had some talks with my husband, Jeremy, to see if he had any profound thoughts on the topic. I had to have been desperate! Ha!

Infertility is such a scary, uncertain, heartbreaking, faith shaking, life destroying, relationship ruining, down right sucky, awful, sad, and horrible disease. People don't truly understand that it is a disease. It isn't a misfortunate accident. It isn't something that just happens.

Infertility is a disease. A disease that affects nearly 8 million people in the United States alone (Resolve). Infertility seems to choose the couples that are truly wanting families. Although, infertility doesn't discriminate. All couples are susceptible to the horrors of facing an infertile life.

Some infertiles can solve their issues with medication and ovulation predictors. Some must go onto injections and inseminations. Others move onto the terrifyingly expensive step of IVF. Some have surgery upon surgery to conceive. Many go on to use surrogates, donor eggs, donor sperm, or adoption. And sadly, some face a life of childlessness.

I feel like I have tried to educate people on infertility. When I created this blog in December 2011, some of my friends and family had no idea what Jeremy and I had been through. I felt encouraged by so many friends that came to me to share their stories. I had no idea how many infertiles I knew in my "real" life. Each of their stories touched me, and hopefully, mine helped them in some way as well.

At first, I was shy about our struggles with infertility. I wasn't sure how people would take my willingness to be an open book. I knew that infertility was a disease that most suffered in silence. I wasn't willing to be silent anymore. Even if I made a few people uncomfortable, I know that being open about infertility helped counsel me and many others. Staying silent works for many couples, but I couldn't move forward with all of the built-up sadness and anger. The best way for me to release my emotions in a safe environment was right here.

This blog created a space for me but I also met so many wonderful other infertiles. This is by far the best part about being open to sharing infertility. The blog friends that I have made over the last year are friends that will potentially be a part of my life for a lifetime. I find myself thinking about them, praying for them, and celebrating beside them. These other infertiles are the strongest and most caring individuals that I have met. I am so fortunate that sharing my story led me to their strong support system.

Even though, it seems as if I am on the "other side" of infertility with Max and Harper on their way. I will always be an infertile. It is a part of me and who I am. I will continue to be an advocate for infertiles everywhere. Whether that is sharing my story and success, or just educating the fertile world on what is acceptable and what is not.

So, yes, I have joined the movement! And I don't plan on quitting the movement until infertility is fully recognized as a disease. I won't stop until insurance companies across the country decide to cover these procedures as they would for "elective" procedures. Everyone needs to know what infertility is and how it affects couples. Only with education on the topic can infertility get the recognition from the people who can make changes.

Join the Movement and spread the word of infertility! I know I plan to continue.

http://www.resolve.org/infertility101  (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)

http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html (About NIAW)

-Lisa-

Nursery Projects

First of all, Jeremy and I are not the crafty type of people. In fact, I think we are the opposite of crafty. However, we wanted the nursery to be eclectic, unique, and meaningful. So, years ago we started collecting antiques and knick knacks for our future nursery. Because of the items we already had, we needed something for above the cribs that would match that style. After searching, it was clear we were going to have to make our decorations.

The first project we tackled was Maxwell's wall hangings above his crib. I found a great and EASY craft project on Pinterest. We bought embroidery rings at Joann Fabric and also fabric pieces in different shades of yellow and gray. Here were our supplies:



 We put the pieces of fabric in the rings. Pulled tight and then cut access fabric from around ring but left enough to fold over and hot glue.

The last step is removing the outer embroidery ring so we are left with a perfect circle of fabric. They turned out pretty good. We painted a letter M for Maxwell and hung in the center of the circles. Here is a picture of Max's crib:

For Harper's wall, we decided on a more girly look. We found "shabby chic" style white frames at Hobby Lobby. They happened to all be 50% off which saved us a lot of moo-lah. I then bought spray paint and Jeremy spray painted the frames and "H" for Harper.

We still have more antiques to hang and figure out but it is coming along. Here is the closet corner where we hung a large clothespin that I found at an antique store last year and a picture that Jeremy found in the back of an old frame we bought.

-Lisa-

24 week update

Woo-hoo for viability!! I never thought we would get to 24 weeks. We can breathe a sigh of relief.

I feel like I have been so busy but I look around and nothing is getting done. I start to freak out a bit when I realize that Maxwell & Harper will be here in about 11-13 more weeks. As much as I can't wait to wrap them up and hold them in my arms...Momma and Daddy are not ready!

We have basically figured out daycare. It wasn't easy and we had lots of great options. We have decided to go with this daycare close to our house. We went and toured many centers but fell in love with the staff and facility. We won't need daycare until October 15. I go back to work October 1 and Jeremy is taking his leave at the beginning of October. Hopefully, one more spot will open up before then. At the moment, one of the twins has a spot while the other is waitlisted. The director said that she is sure a spot will open up before then so not to worry.

Our nursery is coming along. I am in the middle of many décor projects at the moment. I am NOT a crafty person so I am definitely out of my element. I will post pictures of the projects in a separate post.

FMLA and insurance is quite the headache but it seems to be working itself out as well.

At my doctor checkup Tuesday, I only gained 5 pounds this month. This is a change from the last appointment where I gained a whopping 10 pounds! I am up 33 pounds. I can't believe how large and in charge I am getting. However, my doctor assures me I am right on track and healthy. She said I will slow down on the weight gain because twin mommies usually load up on the pounds early on. In fact, if you gain 24 pounds before the 24 weeks mark...twins have a greater chance of staying in there longer so they are born at a healthier weight.

One thing that pregnant women may downplay is the movement. I am in complete awe of the punches, kicks, movement, etc. Jeremy is obsessed with watching the belly and feeling it. I think he nearly cried when his hand was kicked hard. I love looking at the belly move. It is a complete miracle and just feel so blessed that we get to experience this. I can't believe that more pregnant women or moms haven't told me about the awesomeness of this stage. I don't even care that I can't sleep because I know that when I feel them punch me, they are thriving.

Max and Harper will grow up knowing how much they were prayed for. They will know what blessings and miracles they truly are. They will also know that God sent them as His perfect timing for us. I can't help but smile and cry happy tears at the thought of holding my precious angels. It puts our whole infertility struggle into perspective.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11


-Lisa-

Is This for Real?

I recently went back and read my blog posts from last March and April. I was heartbroken and confused. I didn't understand why Jeremy and I were going through infertility. However, by my blog posts, you really couldn't tell. I sound so positive and faithful. I don't think I was that way through most of our struggle. It was interesting to see what a difference a year makes. So for those that are still deep in the infertility struggle, keep up the hope. I know we hear that a lot as infertiles and I wouldn't have believed it if we weren't in the position we are now.

I am on spring break this week and have spent it working on the nursery. I knew there would be no other spare time for me to work on it through the end of the school year so I have kept busy. We painted the walls a light gray. We built a new closet system after we tore the other one out. I steam cleaned the carpets. Tuesday, Nebraska Furniture Mart delivered the furniture. And now it is real. Or is it? I feel like I should pinch myself. I leave the door open so every time I walk by the room, I can smile. I find myself in there just looking at the bedding, sitting in the rocker, and visualizing how wonderful our lives are going to be with Max and Harper.

I still have to decorate with wall decor and shelving but here are some current pictures of the state of the nursery.

On top of the pure elation and excitement, I also am a nervous wreck. Oh, the dreams that I have! Also, since when did TV shows not only have expectant twin mommies...but mommies that lose their twins?! Seriously, it makes me crazy! I freak out when I can't feel them. Although, talking to the doctor today, that is perfectly normal right now. I can't wait until Jeremy is able to feel the movement either. He is going to freak! Here are some ultrasound pics from today:

Maxwell's profile (He is so cute!)



Maxwell's back squishing Harper's profile

They are getting so big!

Happy Spring (kind of)! In KC, we have had cold and snow the last week. It really hasn't felt too much like spring. However, today it was in the 50's so I got my dogger, Bella, out for a 3 mile walk. Boy, am I tired! It felt great to be outside exercising a bit though.

-Lisa-

Holy 20 weeks!!

If you would have asked me three years ago, or even 6 months ago, if I would ever get to this point...I would have told you that you were crazy! I cannot believe we are at the 20 weeks mark. I feel so blessed. I can't even begin to explain the pure elation. I cry when I think too hard about how God has blessed us.

I used to pray every day and night for a baby. I faltered in my faith often and thought God had abandoned us. I am so glad that He is a giving and FORgiving God. He not only had a plan for us and our family...He forgave us when we didn't trust in Him.

My belly is in a word...GINORMOUS! I can't believe it is going to get any bigger. I wake up and look in the mirror and gasp. I love having this huge belly because it means my babes are coming sooner and sooner....

Which also has me freaking out!!
*The nursery furniture was just ordered last week
*The bedding came in today!! I love it! It is yellow, white, and gray.
*We registered at BuyBuyBaby but still need to register at Target
*We need to pick out paint, buy paint, and paint the nursery before the furniture arrives in 10 days
*Heck, we need to clear out the nursery and move our office furniture to the basement
*We need to find a daycare center for the twins...we tour a few of them in a couple of weeks

I am in nesting mode which means I am stressed out when I can't get done what I need done. Which also means that Jeremy is doomed. He has mastered the smile and nod really well.

The last couple of weeks (actually months) have also been very difficult on our family. Jeremy's grandparents have both been ill and in and out of hospital and nursing homes. I lost my last grandparent almost 6 years ago so Jeremy's grandparents have been my own. In fact, his grandparents have always treated me like one of their own grand kids. We visited with them extensively about our fertility issues. They are Christians and prayed with us and for us.

It was so exciting to tell them back in December that twins were on the way. We all cried. It was shortly after that announcement when their health declined at a rapid pace. We lost Grandma on March 6. Jeremy and I were the last family members to see her before she passed. I can't begin to describe how much my heart aches. She was an amazing woman. I have felt like I need to be the strong one and support Jeremy and his family. So I have tried to cover my pain and dry my tears. But I miss her dearly. I am also heartbroken that Grandma won't ever get to hold Max and Harper. We decided to honor Grandma as well. Harper's full name is now Harper Evelynn Rose. Rose was Grandma's middle name. Now she will always be a part of our family.

I told my classes why I would be gone one day. One of my sixth grade students raised her hand and said the most profound thing, "I guess your grandma was special because she needed two souls to replace hers." I wanted to hug her and cry.

Grandpa still needs prayers and is in the nursing home. We will see him every weekend. We saw him Monday and he knew who we were and was up ready to visit. I just pray he gets stronger and stronger.

Sorry for the long post but there was a lot to update. I always plan to write on the blog more frequently and then life gets in the way. I do read all of the blog updates daily but never get around to writing my own!

-Lisa-

Cankles & Names, Names & Cankles

So... I have cankles.

Don't judge me. I stood all day today and I came home to cankles for the first time since I sprained my ankle in high school. I didn't think calf-ankle combo started until MUCH later in pregnancy. However, twin pregnancies are in hyper drive so I imagine that involves this temporary deformity. I am hoping the elevation and cutting back on salt will alleviate the nastiness that is my used to be slimmer ankles.

I went shopping for some adorable maternity clothes yesterday. I am happy with all of my purchases. It was time. I have boycotted the whole process. I have been using belly bands to hold up my normal pants. However, they are no longer able to be zipped even a little bit so it was time. To my surprise, I found some really cute clothes. I am hoping the cankles go away so I can start wearing the dresses that I got.

We decided on names for our little bundles! It is so exciting to address them by name now. It took some concessions on both of our parts but I am so happy with the names now. I am even more excited to meet them in person.

Our little boy is Maxwell "Max" Salvatore (my dad's middle name) Marc (Jeremy's middle name).

Our little girl is Harper (my favorite author) Evelynn (Lynn is my mother and mother-in-law's middle name).

I can't wait to meet Max and Harper!!!

I also have changed my blog's title. I was hesitant to do it but still trying to conceive didn't fit our situation anymore.

-Lisa-

Gender Scan

First, a 17.5 week belly photo.

We had our gender scan with the perinatalogist this morning. I was so excited that I could hardly contain myself. I drank orange juice and ate a doughnut thinking that the sugar would get the babies really moving so we could get a sneak peak at their "goods".

It worked!!
Both babies were ready to display everything. In fact, Baby A was flipping and doing somersaults which made measuring a little difficult.

Baby A is my rambunctious little BOY!!! Here is a close up of his "special parts".

Baby B is my gorgeous little GIRL!!! Here are her goods on display for hopefully only this once (ha!).

So we have a perfect pairing of one of each. Jeremy is thrilled to have that little boy to play catch with and the little girl to be Daddy's girl. I am so excited to have a Mama's boy and to dress up my little girl. So...I couldn't help it. I went out and bought their first outfits. It was a difficult choice but I figure I will need to go shopping a lot more now.

We are both over the moon with excitement! On top of finding out genders, we found out that both babies are doing perfectly! They are measuring right on track and in fact Baby B is now measuring a day ahead of A and that is opposite of how it has been.

The pain on my left pelvic bone that I have had was supposed to be caused by Baby B. We found out that I have a uterine fibroid tumor. It isn't anything to be too concerned about for now but it can cause extra pain. At least I know that the severe pain wasn't in my head!

Here are some creepy face pictures of my darlings too.

 Still searching for a new blog title name and will hopefully think of one soon.

-Lisa-